More of the same

I am happy to report that things are looking up in my world. To start things off, I landed a seemingly fantastic job last week! Went to the interview and by the end of the meeting, we were talking salary and start dates. It was a good feeling. I clicked with the CEO & the VP, both of whom I will be supporting. A little bit of detail about the position - Executive Assistant to CEO & VP of Operations. Provide all aspects of administrative support, mainly dealing with travel arrangements, scheduling meetings, calendaring, and setting up the newly formed Houston Global Headquarters. This is a Portuguese renewable fuel company, focused on biodiesels and renewable energy. Headquarters are currently in Lisbon, which is where my new boss hails from, and since the energy hub of the world is right here in our backyard of Houston, he made the decision to make Houston the center for the company. I have no idea what all setting up global headquarters entails, but I'm definitely up for the challenge! Finally found a kick-ass job, with my requested salary and with benefits. It also helps that the offices are about a 7-minute drive from the house. And bonus that I don't have to get on the freeway! I am very excited about this new opportunity and I hope that everything goes well when I begin on September 8th. I am looking forward to working with yet another Frenchie, and learning more about the renewable energy industry.

I am getting excited and maybe a little bit nervous about the half-marathon coming up in January. I pretty much took the whole month of July "off" from training, with me only running once or twice a week. I am back in full force and ready to up the mileage and get prepared for that 13-miles! I have signed up for another 5K at the end of September and will be signing up for a 10K at the end of October. I hope that I will be able to finish the 10K in good time and from there, working myself up to that second half of 6.5 miles! I have faith that it will all come together and January will be a breeze. Okay, well, running 13 miles is going to be hard, I accept that. It will not be a breeze. But, it will be a huge accomplishment!

Babycakes is growing and becoming more and more a little person. She is officially 14 months and it is just (still) amazing to watch her grow everyday. She's my little schnookims. The love of my life!

Let's Go To The Movies!

Well, haven't done much of that, but Netflix is my best friend. I wanted to rate some recent viewings. There have been some good ones!

Gran Torino - Hell yes! This was all it was cracked up to be. I've always been a fan of ole Mr. Eastwood and this movie definitely did not let me down. It had it all - great writing, great acting & great directing. Hell of a story, too. An absolute on my 2008 Best Of.

Watchmen - I like super-hero movies. I like graphic novel adaptations. Unfortunately, nothing will ever top 'Sin City' or 'The 300'. Too bad for The Watchmen. Good story, good music and cool effects. I liked it, didn't love.

The Devil's Chair - Anyone who knows me, knows I lovelovelove scary/horror/gore movies. It's preeeety much my favorite genre. There are a lot of hits and misses in this category, though. This one was a HIT! OMG, freaking awesome. I am assuming that the Brits are beginning to get into this whole gore genre, and they are doing it very well, in my opinion. This is the 2nd Brit horror movie and it was so good! If you're a fan of the Saw-esque/gore movie, watch this. It will not disappoint.

Revolutionary Road - Thought for sure that I would love this one. I mean, how could you go wrong with Leo & Kate?! Actually, this did not go wrong. The movie, in and of itself was amazing. It was the story I didn't like. The acting - superb. I really think Leo should have won something (if he didn't...I'm not completely sure). He was great! So, kind of a mixed review. Loved the acting, directing; hated the story. Aahh, and I can't really say that either. Gosh. Okay - really liked the movie, the storyline was something I did not expect - it's hard to like Kate's character. But, that was the whole point of the story. You're not supposed to like her. Watch it. It's good.

Valkyrie - As much as I hate to admit how much I love almost all of Tom Cruise's movies, I do, I do! This one was no exception. I think he's an outstanding actor and this movie was just pretty great. Of course, anything with a historical/factual storyline is good in my opinion. Along with Gran Torino, up in the Best of '08.

Transsiberian - A movie with Woody Harrelson, Ben Kinglsey & Emily Mortimer. About a train ride on the Transsiberian and about events that surround that trip. It was suspenseful, and well-acted. Any non-horror movie that can get my heart rate up is a winner. Kind of slow in parts, but the ending makes up for it. Good stuff.

Severance - The other Brit Horror movie I spoke of earlier. Didn't know what to expect, but I really liked it. Interesting storyline. Lots of gore. Thumbs up!

New in Town - haha! Yes, I am probably one of three hundred people who actually wanted to see this movie. Renee Zellwegger & Harry Connick, Jr. Enough said? It was cute. Romantic Comedy, completely typical, funny and predictable...but isn't that why we watch that stuff anyway?

The Kite Runner - Not a fan. I just did not like this movie. I thought the lead character was a wuss and he pissed me off too much to enjoy the movie. I couldn't empathize and that made the movie not sit right with me. Maybe the book delves deeper into the story/his story, as to invoke a greater empathy, but I don't know if I want to chance that. Reading a book I don't like is much worse than just watching a movie. Thumbs down.

Curious Case of Benjamin Button - THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR!! I loved it! I do not know how or why Slumdog Millionaire won over this, but it should not have. This was the best. Everything about it.

and finally,

The Uninvited - A scary movie. It was good. I loved it. Why? Because of the "twist", AND because it actually scared me. Gave me the heebie-jeebies! Watch it if you want a good suspenseful horror flick. Honestly, I don't really consider it a horror film, much more suspenseful. That Emily Browning girl - she's kind of creepy in this! But, still cool!

Oh, one more!

Seven Pounds - Thumbs up. Very, very good. Will Smith is awesome. And so is Rosario Dawson. If you haven't seen it, grab your hanky and prepare yourself for a good movie. Best Of '08 List. Most definitely.

So, there you have it. Just a few of the movies I've recently seen. Some that I get excited for every time I look at my queue?

-Burn After Reading
-Religulous
-Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
-Flash of Genius
-W.
-Doubt
-Frost/Nixon
-Wendy and Lucy
-From Within
-[REC]
-The Wrestler
&
-Defiance

Movies are the best!

Woe is Me

Well, it has finally happened. My job, where I've wasted a good year of my life, with nothing to show for it is finally ending. At the end of the month, they will be shutting down the Houston office. I was completely expecting this, so it's not like it was something that occurred just out of the blue. Still bummed, of course. Nobody wants to be in this position, although millions of people are. Ever since June I have been applying and sending out my resume anywhere & everywhere I could think of. No real response, save for a few employment agencies and a few (very) low paying jobs. I'm just not that desperate to go back to working a $12/hour job. I have a freaking college degree & 10 years of work experience. Seriously? And you want me to go slave away for you making $10 to $12/per hour. Riiiight. I'm just so pissed about it all. I've been here since October, with no benefits, no incentive; I've come in every day and worked as hard as I could. I should have never accepted this job. I was just so ready to get back to work after the baby, that I pretty much accepted the first thing that came my way. I should have known how unstable this company was at the beginning. Damn it.

I guess I will have to believe that for every door that is closed a new one opens and there you are, with a new and better opportunity. I have a telephone interview today with an alternative certification program to obtain a teaching certificate. I've always known I would one day venture into the world of teaching, and it looks like that day may arrive sooner that I anticipated. I've always wanted to be a teacher. I loved my second grade teacher so much and since then, I've always thought that one day I would be just like her and try to make a difference in somebody's life. I would absolutely love to be able to teach Elementary school and that is what I really want to do. I am ready to take on the responsibility of teaching. I also have an application in for some substitute work in a few school districts. I just have to get my transcripts together and submit everything. I guess once this job is done, I will apply for unemployment to get some kind of income coming in, start my ACP classes and hopefully land a few subbing jobs here and there to get a little bit of classroom experience under my belt.

I felt during and after college that I would continue my path in the corporate world. I've been working in offices since I was 18. I really enjoy the work and have always had success in my previous jobs. This job has just completely left a bad taste in my mouth in regards to how some people run their businesses. It's disgusting. It's misleading & it's effed up. Unless I happen to find an awesome company to work with, I am done with the corporate world. I know I am an intelligent and hard-worker, and I know I bring value to every position I have been in. I just wish my hard work and determination would have led me down a different path.

But, that being said...I AM excited about pursuing this teaching thing. I think it's a great career for those with a family (and without!). Summers off to spend with your kids or loved ones is incentive enough for me. Since Lola is a summer baby, that means I would get to spend every birthday with her and hopefully be able to start a tradition of a little family vacation/birthday celebration for my babycakes. And, being a teacher also means great benefits, which is something that has been missing from my life for quite some time. AND, not to mention, it would be a perfect scenario to bring another Spurlock-Torres baby into the world!!

Hooo-aaaahh!

Fathers

This article from Babycenter.com pretty much says it all. I know it's long, but I think it's worth a read. Oh, and the part about puberty...uhhhh, pretty crazy.

"A father's relationship with his daughter has an amazingly powerful influence in shaping her self-image, competence, and femininity, as well as her perception of all the men in her life.

One of my first memories of my father is of the two of us playing with my new doctor's kit. I was the physician, of course, and he was my willing patient. While other dads may have submitted to having their hearts checked and endured endless pretend shots with a giant plastic syringe, my father went the extra mile. He actually allowed me to sit on his lap and pluck hairs from his chest with my new medical tweezers. At the time, I thought his grimaces and grunts were hilarious; little did I know that he sat there in pain just to see the smile on his little girl's face.

This is the same man who not only read Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham to my sister and me, but used food coloring to whip up green eggs and ham for us in the morning. As little girls at the pool, we would cling to his back while he swam underwater, or we'd stand on his shoulders and dive off into the deep end. When my sister or I brought home a high test score, he'd launch into the Mr. Rogers song, I'm Proud of You at the top of his lungs. But our dad wasn't all fun and games. He didn't bribe us for good grades; he expected them. While other tenth grade girls were heading off to the movies with their boyfriends, we were prohibited from going on independent dates until age sixteen. The make-up we longed to glop on was to be applied subtly, and curfews were strictly enforced.

Looking back, it's easy to see we were Daddy's Girls. Little did I know that his behavior and our relationship would influence how I perceived all the men in my life, and ultimately determine who I married. Nor did I suspect that the games we played and his expectations of me would go on to affect my confidence, ambition and achievements, even shape my view of myself as a woman.

As recently as the 1980s, the prevalent view among parents and family courts was that as females, girls identified most closely with their mothers, therefore fathers were more or less secondary, even irrelevant, to the upbringing of little girls. What that theory failed to take into account is the approximately three billion males that populate our planet, the same males that young girls play with and eventually work with, date, and marry.

Joe Kelly, President of Dads and Daughters, a national non-profit organization dedicated to improving father-daughter relationships, and author of Dads and Daughters, says, "A father plays the role of the first man in her life. He sets the standard for his daughter about what she will expect from boys now and men later."

H. Norman Wright, family counselor and author of Always Daddy's Girl, agrees: "Your father was the vehicle for introducing you to the opposite sex. He has colored your perception of men and shaped your expectations of how men will or should behave toward you."

Boys play differently than girls. They communicate in different ways, and they tackle problems from different angles. For a young girl to understand and appreciate these differences, and for her to become comfortable around males, she needs lots of one-on-one time with a man she can trust. Simply by spending time with his daughter, a father teaches her how to relate and interact with the boys and men in her life.


In addition to teaching her about men, a father has an amazingly powerful influence on a young girl's femininity too. In numerous interviews with women, journalist Suzanne Fields discovered, "Competency and femininity are the twin values most of the women I interviewed stressed as the values strongly influenced by their father." It makes sense. Fathers are the first men to pay attention to young girls, to hold them, and kiss them. Daddy is the first man to tell a toddler how pretty her dress is or how cute her painted pink toenails look. More importantly, he's the man who prizes his daughter over all other girls and holds her up as the most beautiful, sweetest girl in the world. All of which directly affect her budding femininity.

When do girls start becoming a Daddy's girl? From birth. The minute a man holds his tiny daughter and whispers, "I love you" in her ear, the Daddy-Daughter relationship begins. But it can end right there in the delivery room if men don't wholeheartedly commit themselves to fathering their girls. Kelly explains, "The relationship is built in changing diapers and wiping up puke. It's then that you giggle, make noises and goo-goo eyes – engaging in healthy affectionate touch. You have to show up, put in your time." He advises new dads to, "Share the tasks equally if not more, because mom might be breastfeeding, and you can't share that, so pick up more of the other slack, because mom's doing more than half of the feeding and cuddling."


Macho men can take heart in that spending time with girls isn't just about dress-up clothes and sticker books. Although a daughter will adore her father for participating in her tea parties, she'll have just as much fun engaging in the rough and tumble play that dads are best at. Research by the Melpomene Institute shows that a father who plays with his daughter when she is young is the greatest influence on her decision to take up sports later on. Fathers can kick-start the physical fun during infancy by holding, feeding, and bouncing their baby girls. As she gets older she'll love to tickle and wrestle with Daddy, jump on beds, and get piggy back rides. Eventually fathers and daughters can enjoy participating in any sport together. The options are infinite.


If some men are nervous about playing with little girls, others are surprised by the tidal wave of emotions that come with their little pink package. On one hand, men, who are frequently raised to suppress their feelings, are often taken aback by the absolute love of a child, particularly a little girl who fawns over her father. "We raise boys to be emotionally illiterate, so for a man to be thrust into an unconditional love relationship is overwhelming and powerful," Kelly explains.

On the other, a man who didn't grow up with sisters might be unprepared for his little drama queen's theatrics when she's in a foul mood or gets hurt on the playground and cries for what seems like hours. When a confused father needs a roadmap to his daughter's emotions, his best ally is his daughter's mother. She knows what it's like to be a little girl and can help interpret those whines and pouts. When all else fails, hugs and patience are usually the best remedy.

Tips for Daddies of Daughters
Be there. Change the diapers, take her for walks, and pick out her clothes. Sit her in the bouncy seat while you work in your home office or outside while you do yard work.

Appreciate her uniqueness as a girl. Compliment her clothes and hair. Tell her she looks pretty. Play with dolls, have tea parties, and play princess games.

Appreciate her uniqueness as a person. Tell her how smart and brave she is. Teach her to throw a ball and dig for worms. Encourage her to take risks and speak her mind.

Get physical with her. Roughhouse, tickle, bounce, patty cake, hug, and kiss. Teach her to swim, ride a bike, play golf, or whatever sport you enjoy.

Listen! Males are problem solvers by nature, so when their daughters come to them with problems, they're often too quick to offer up solutions, when all she wants is a shoulder to cry on. Girls are talkers. Dads should be quiet and listen. Then ask her if she wants you to offer a few helpful suggestions.

"Be her father, not her mother," Kelly says. Be the upstanding male role model that will teach her what to expect from men for the rest of her life.

Did You Know?
Girls whose fathers are closely involved with their lives enter puberty later. Dr. Bruce Ellis of the University of Canterbury found that "father involvement was most predictive for late puberty in girls if it took place before age five."

Researchers discovered that girls without fathers or with dysfunctional fathers entered puberty at relatively young ages. Doctors theorize that if a young girl's need for a strong male influence isn't met, her body matures in order to attract a male to fill the void. "Father-absent homes" aren't just ones with no daddy. An absentee father can be one who travels frequently for work, or who spends too much time at the office, or on the golf course.

Dr. Ellis also explains why girls who grow up with single mothers have a high teenage pregnancy rate. In fact, father absence is the most significant risk factor for teen pregnancy, say researchers from the Christchurch School of Medicine and experts from three American universities. If Dad is around to tell his daughters that they're beautiful, smart and brave, they'll delay their first sexual experience longer than girls who grow up without that positive reinforcement from a man they respect."

I thought this article was right on point. I think everything in it speaks true for myself and other girls I have known who were raised in single-mother households. Yes, I certainly did share this with Max and I am reminded once again of just how lucky both me and Lola are to have such a great daddy! I hope and pray that Lola grows up knowing that she is valued, loved, appreciated and adored by her father and that it helps her in all of these ways and more.

Good stuff, Babycenter, GOOD STUFF.

Book Club

I've really been into reading lately. In the past year, since Lola came along, sadly I've only read two books! Not enough time for that sort of silliness when you're caring for a newborn, looking for a job, starting a new job, working hard to lose weight and all of that! But, the two that I have finished, I absolutely loved. Now, I am on a roll and am currently enjoying TWO books at the same time. I hope to read at least 5 by this time next year!

So, first book was "Paint It Black" by Janet Fitch. A recommendation from Ms. Nicole Nodarse, and a follow-up to Fitch's awesome "White Oleander". I absolutely loved "White Oleander", so I was excited about starting a new Fitch novel. I started reading this when I started back at the gym, it was easy to get through 60 minutes of cardio while reading something. At first, I wasn't really into it. The story of a punk-rock, art-student, alcoholic, druggie 19-year old, whose boyfriend kills himself and her life going forward, trying to get through it, and who forms an odd relationship with the dead boyfriends mom. It was tough for me to really care or empathize with her character at first. She was annoying, self-pitying and dramatic. But, I guess that's how the reader was supposed to feel. I eventually began to enjoy it when the story focused more on the developing relationship/friendship between Josie and Meredith (girlfriend/mother). It definitely progressed as it went on, and it ended up being a good read. Not as good as "White Oleander", not at all, but still it was enjoyable. I'll give it 2.5 out of 5 stars. And only 2.5 because I wasn't particularly fond of the ending, and just like the absolute end, not the whole end, if that makes sense; and that joined together with the rough beginning will only allow me to give it 2.5 stars.

BUT - my second read was a definite 5-star book! "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides, author of "The Virgin Suicides". Never read The Suicides, and really hated the movie. I was hesitant to buy the book. And actually, I bought the book about 5 years ago and tried to read it then, but for some reason, never picked it up. Glad I finally did! Oh, it's just a great story. I think I loved it so much because it's practically a historical fiction. Lots of historical information and facts thrown in there to keep it interesting and "real". Pretty much a story about Calliope, a hermaphrodite raised as a girl, and her coming-of-age story. It's a great read and all of you should read it!

Currently reading "A Long Way Down" by Nick Hornby, whom I know Guadalupe was a fan. I'm already halfway done with the book and I just purchased it this weekend. I never read that fast! But, the book is awesome. I really like it. I will have to give it more of a review when I am done, hopefully by the end of the week!

And, I just got my copy of the Ryan Adams "Infinity Blues". Dude is awesome. Prose & poetry from the best singer/songwriter out there!? Yes, please. There is definitely a Bukowski feel about it though, but I'm not complaining! I will probably be using some well-written quotes from the book some time soon. I love him. *swoooooooon*

ONE YEAR

One year ago today I was in the hospital, cringing in pain, anxiously awaiting our little Lola to enter this world. I can remember it like it was yesterday, and I cannot believe that a year has passed. It's been a whirlwind of new emotions and experience. I think it's a good time to reflect back on the year and all that I've learned in this short period of time.

1) There are no words to describe the absolute love and admiration that takes over when you first see and hold your own baby for the first time. I could have never imagine the overwhelming sense of love and fear that is constantly described in all of the pregnancy books I read. That first moment...there are no words, and I finally understood what all of the books were talking about. It's amazing and miraculous, but until you experience it first-hand, it's practically unexplainable.

2) No matter how much you prepare, read, research and plan - those maternal instincts will just kick in and you will know exactly what to do. I knew that I was, by no means, "maternal" or "motherly", I had no idea how to hold, feed, change, swaddle or even clean a baby. What the hell was I thinking?! But, by that second...okay by the fourth day...I knew exactly how she liked to be held, when she was hungry, and when she needed to be changed. The whole bath & swaddling thing came a little later, though!

3) Mommy-Time - Take it. Don't feel guilty (although this continues to be a struggle at times), and get out of the house. While I was pregnant it seemed that I stayed in my house for 9 months; except to go to school, doctor appointments and to work, I tried to stay in as much as I could. I didn't want to do anything! And those first 4 months after having her, I was home all of the time. No job, no more doctor appointments, no school...it was so draining. I felt my brain cells melting away. So, as soon as I was able to get out and start exercising and meeting friends for dinner and/or drinks, it was great. Of course, the mom-guilt set in and I began to feel bad for wanting to get out for a few hours. But, after a few weeks and reading buttloads of mom-forums and articles on baby websites, I began to realize that "mommy-time" was not a bad thing. For one, it allowed Max and Lola to bond more, and it also allowed me to hold on to my sanity. I learned that I am allowed to still be AMY, and not just mom. I've learned that it's healthier for Lola to grow up knowing that Momma has a life and is still an independent person...just like I hope she will be.

4) Date Nights - Date nights are always a good thing. Relationships most definitely change after a baby - don't let anybody tell you different. Having time together as a couple is healthy, and very much needed. Some days Max and I barely speak to each other...not because we're fighting or anything like that, but caring for a baby is very time-consuming and some days it feels like we never even said hello. Taking some time out and going to a movie or dinner or doing whatever feels like heaven.

5) During the first year with your baby, hold them as much as possible. It's not spoiling them, it's reassuring them that you are there, that you will always be there.

I wouldn't change a thing that Max or I have done during this first year. Yes, it's been a learning experience and would we do things differently if we have another? Probably not. From what I can tell so far, Lola seems like a happy, well-adjusted, intelligent and most importantly, healthy baby girl. Can I still call her my baby girl? You betcha! She will always be my baby!

In conclusion, this past year has been the best year of my life. I cannot imagine life without her. I wouldn't change a thing about my life. I love being a mother, a provider and a partner. Motherhood is definitely a journey, a lifetime journey, and I am very much looking forward to what the next year has in store.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOLA! WE ALL LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH!

Daddy!

Well, this Father's Day was the first official one for dear daddy Max. Unfortunately, due to my paycheck & work issues, I didn't have the means to go out and buy anything or order anything material for him. So, we ended up going out to lunch, anywhere he wanted, which was Fuddruckers, and we went shopping for some new toys for his bike. Not much, but he got a nap in and I didn't bug him to help me clean all day, so he got a break from that!



I do wish I could have done more for him, because I hope he knows how much I truly appreciate him. I try really hard not to take him and his presence for granted. Myself included, there are so many families out there who do not/did not have their fathers around. The more I think about it, the sadder it makes me. I cannot imagine trying to raise Lola alone, and obviously I know that it is possible and that there are so many mothers out there who do it, but just the thought of him not being there for his daughter can bring me to tears. I know what it was like growing up without a male role model, and I think this had a lot, if not everything to do with some of the bad choices I made in regards to men. It just breaks my heart to think that Lola may have to experience some of the stuff that I have. So, I thank my lucky stars every day for Max and I feel so blessed that he is so involved in Lola's life. I just hope that she is never without him! And I hate to think of "what-if he leaves one day..." because ultimately, it's not a pleasant thought and I think we are in a good enough spot to where that won't happen, but then again, you never know what could change in the matter of a few years. BUT - I do not dwell on those thoughts, just the happy ones! I love that he plays with her as he would a son - wrestling moves, throwing elbows on the elephants, and just plain, but moderate and super gentle, rough-housing. And I also love that he babies her and if she bumps her head or falls down and cries, he is right there to pick her up and cuddle her, while telling her that he will "kick that floors ASS!"


I couldn't be happier that Max is such a great daddy and I think I've finally convinced him that he should be another daddy soon!! Well, not soon-soon, but some time in the next few years, most definitely. And I couldn't be happier with my little family. I love this whole motherhood and family thing. It's my new favorite thing in the world.

Some things

Here are a few things that I will focus my mind on until I get paid:

I am sooo getting this chair personalized for my babycakes. And I will probably get the stuffies, too. And can I just mention that Lola WILL have a room straight from the Pottery Barn Kids catalog. Wow, they have some amazing stuff. One item at a time! I'm sure we'll accumulate a put-together room by the time she's a teenager.

Thinking about my sweet baby girl and her upcoming birthday party. It may not be the best one ever, but I'll make damn sure she is happy.

I'm thinking a bottle tonight will do me. Cabarnet Sauvignon, how I love thee and your robust flavors. Specs - excpect a visit from me soon.

I know what I'm eating for dinner tonight, and it's going to be awesome.

Seriously?

Naturally, I'm not a worry-wart and I don't stress over much...but when your job is at stake, it's hard to not stress out. Was given the news the other day that our paychecks will not be processed on the expected date. Given that we are only paid monthly, it makes it really hard to not get that paycheck when you expect it. So far, still nothing. We (the company) have no money in our accounts and therefore cannot pay the three employees who show up everyday and perform their jobs to the best of their abilities. Expected payment is this week, but who knows if that is actually going to happen. If it doesn't come in on the promised date, I know someone who isn't returning to the office until that money is in her account! It's a scary prospect, losing your job, or rather, not getting paid for work performed. I know, eventually I will be paid, but until then, my stress levels are higher than usual. And I hate that.

Suffice to say, I am on the job hunt once again. Have had two interviews with two different agencies this last week and another interview pending. I also hate searching for jobs. That's a quick way to knock you off your pedestal. Potential employers scrutinizing your job history, asking the necessary questions - all just to tell you that you aren't qualified enough or your background doesn't match their needs. But, in the end, once you do land that sought after position, it makes it all worth it. All of those other people who passed on you don't seem to matter in the long run. I'm just thankful that I am still employed and have time to try to find the perfect fit for me.

So, currently stressed out and super sad because it's Lola's first birthday and there is tons of stuff to buy and get ready for, but I don't yet have the money to do so. I mean...ANY other month it would have been a little better and more bearable...but my baby's first birthday!? C'mon. It's amazing what a lift and life-saver that money you depend on turns out to be. Fingers crossed that I won't have to go on a mini-strike at the end of the week. But then again, maybe that will give me more time to interview.

Please, bank account - - refill & replenish thyself. Or more accurately - company bank account, please refill & replenish thyself.

Ugh.

Official...

So, my official time for the Impact a Hero 5K was 33:49. That's 2.5 minutes better than my last 5k! Yay. I almost ran the whole time; I had to stop a few times to rest and regain, but I tried my best to finish quicker than before.

It was a fun run. Sad, and yes, I even cried a little bit - for the cause and all. I felt this swell of emotion when I got there and saw all of the military gear and triple-amputee soldiers walking/wheeling about. I could barely contain myself when the mini-parade began and the crowd fell silent, some were saluting, others clapping, and the tour bus full of wounded Iraq vets drove by. Goodness...that was when it all fell apart. So freaking sad yet grateful at the same time. So many sacrifices. Seeing the guys with their babies, and wives...and knowing that they gave up so much just to serve their country. I have always respected the military and what they stand for; but I have a new-found respect and admiration for our soldiers. I love them.

I'm grateful that I was able to participate and am proud that I finished the race in a decent time. I am already looking for the next 5K to run. I need to start trying for a 10K soon. Because, ultimately...I would love to try the half-marathon in January. Need to begin some serious training, though. 13 miles is no joke!