Arkansas

Our trip was very good. We left on Friday afternoon and arrived in Little Rock at about 11:15. Lola did okay on the way there. She was hating the car seat after about the 7th hour, but luckily car rides put her to sleep, so she had some good sleep on the way there. It was freezing when we arrived, about 28 degrees! Of course, my stepmom made me some cornbread for our arrival, my fave! They held and cooed over Lola for about half an hour and then we had to get to bed, we were exhausted. We brought Lola's little travel bed and placed it on the floor right beside our bed. I guess with the bed being on the floor and the fact that it was cold, made the little one angry! She wasn't having any of it, so (poor me), had to sleep with her! She was so tired. She layed on her side using my arm as a pillow all night. I barely got any sleep, though. Between Max snoring and worrying about her, it was quite difficult. Saturday, we went shopping for a little bit. Got groceries for later that day and had quite a laugh. While we were checking out, the bagger - an older lady who didn't seem to have all the needles in the haystack began talking to me. I was standing at the end, with Max in the middle and Kala, my stepmom at the little check writing area of the checkout. So, this lady asks, "These must be your parents." And at first, I guess I didn't really understand what she said, so I just nodded and smiled. And then she says, "That's so sweet....are you the only one?" At that point, I realized what she had said and I laughed and Max looked at me and asked why I was laughing and she repeated "I asked her if she was your only kid." Then Max put his arm around me because he still didn't hear what she said, and then she was like, "OH MY GOD! OH NO! I'M SORRY!" And she was terribly embarrassed. It was awesome. We had to tell my stepmom when we got out of the store. So, basically this cuckoo bird thought Max and my stepmom were my parents. What tha? I know I don't look that young, and they don't look that old! Geez. It was a good laugh, though. Good times.
So, we spent the rest of the day cooking and playing Wii and talking and stuff. My Aunt and Uncle came over to see Lola and to have dinner. We had a really good time. My step-sister looooves Max. He showed her how to cook some stuff and she really enjoyed that.

I'm really glad I was finally able to get over my animosity towards my father. Thinking about it now, I just don't see that it was ever worth being so angry for so long. Sure, I was hurt and had a hard time growing up because of everything that happened, but it's so much easier not being so angry. I guess it came about when I was pregnant and realizing that being a parent at 28 is hard enough, but being a parent when you're young(er) and really not ready for all of the responsibility has its consequences. We never know the whole story, only bits and pieces. Mistakes were made, but you can't change the past and you can only grow and learn from it. I'm not angry anymore. It feels really good. Life is too short to continually blame others for your pain and there comes a time when one has to come to terms to things past and move on. I'm glad I finally found that place. I guess I just realized that I don't want to be saying this or feeling this when it's too late.

Arkansas was fun. The weather was cold. Lola had a grand time. So did we. Yay!