Dana's challenge has been accepted! After all of the countless surveys completed and the many drunk nights of spilling my deepest, darkest secrets, it's hard to imagine I have anything left to divulge. Ahhh, but I do. I do.
1) When I was around 14 or 15 years old, I pulled my hair out. I had a bald spot for a while. I just loved pulling out those coarse, curly hairs and they always seemed to be in the same exact spot. This all occurred before any knowledge of trichotillomania. I really don't think that was the cause of it at all, but maybe I did have some sort of mild obsession with it. To this day, when I find those crazy hairs, I just have to pull them out and examine - they're SO weird! And gosh, it feels good.
2) I hate sharing. There I said it. I wrote it down. I hate it. You would think, you know having a brother, living with multiple roommates and/or significant others, that I would have learned to share by now. Nope. I still get a tinge of annoyance and an urge to scream "MINE!!" when I see someone (Max) eating something that I think should only be mine, or drinking one of my diet cokes, or using my face wash/shampoo/body wash/RAZOR. I just get so irritated! I want to hoard everything and not let anyone touch it. You see, the thing is...I like to conserve. I like things to last. I hate spending money, so I conserve as much as I possibly can. When someone infringes upon my desire to use as little as possible of something, I want to fly into a rage and throw a fit. But, I know I can't. I know that I should share. It's the right, grown-up thing to do. It's a constant battle for me to stop feeling so annoyed when that last diet coke is gone or when all of my Parmesan goldfish have been eaten. I'm learning...slowly, but surely.
3) My mom sometimes worked nights when we were kids. We had a slew of babysitters, which often included my mom's friends teenage kids. Well, this one dude, Steven would come babysit us pretty frequently. We liked him, he was always fun. One Friday night he came over to watch us, we were probably about 7 & 9 years old...something like that. We were watching some movie and all of a sudden we heard a loud noise in my mom's room. We all got pretty freaked out. So, Steven grabbed a baseball bat and we all huddled together to go check it out. Well, when we were about to open mom's door, we heard a loud bang again! We ran screaming, and Steven called 911 immediately. The operator told us to wait outside while the police were dispatched. About 5 minutes later, the Sugar Land PD rolled up and cautiously entered the house. A few moments later, the cop with a big smile on his face approached us, trying not to laugh, and told us we could go back inside and that he had caught the "robber". It was a frog. He showed us and then he let it hop away. Basically, we called the cops on a frog. Such dorks! But, at least we were cautious and safe dorks.
4) On long road trips, I conduct long, drawn out fantasy worlds where me and my at-the-moment celebrity crush are in love and we go on vacations and we have these really great conversations and sometimes we fight just to make up....if you know what I mean. **wink, wink**
5) I can't listen to "September" by Ryan Adams without bawling, or at least tearing up. That song is so freaking sad, it gets me every time.
6) (Thanks Monique, I'm stealing this from you!) I'm too scared to go to a therapist because I'm afraid they'll tell me to do the things that I really want/need to do and expect me to change. I'll continue on in my happy little bubble until I just absolutely can't anymore. And hopefully that will be never!
7) I could always picture myself as a Mom, but what I pictured and what actually is, are two completely different things. And guess what - the reality one is so much better than I ever imagined. I absolutely love being a mommy and my heart beats for that little ragamuffin. She has changed my world completely.
4 comments:
haha, you don't like to share! that's funny! but i'm so the same way. i'm worse when it comes to my car or the dogs. b burnt a hole in my seat with an ash and i'm still secretly pissed about it! and the dogs, rufus is always "his" dog when he does something bad. and i'm so glad i'm not the only one terrified of therapy!
ladies, I will say, yes, therapy can be scary for that same reason, but it's also really really rewarding sometimes. I actually love the lady that I went to for a while, so much so that I wish we had met in some other circumstance, like being neighbors or something, so that I could have a non-professional acquaintance relationship with her. I know, odd.
i'm also a little bit of a stingy one like yourself. i always share, but deep down inside, wish i didn't have to.
aw, so glad you're a better mom than in your imagination - and that you know it. lola is so lucky!
ha, the reason you're scared of therapy is the thing i seek in therapy. so far, i've pretty much gone to people who for the most part, have made me feel like an emotional response or reaction i had to something was the right one. and i'm sure some of my reactions are, of course, but i can't be handling everything in the right way. if that were true, then i probably wouldn't be in therapy!
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