Madness!

While perusing through a parenting website, I came across a fantastic article called, Mad at Dad. I was so glad to have found it. Lately, I've been noticeably angry with Max and it's driving me crazy. I am just happy to learn that I am not the only one who harbors these feelings. It's a crazy thing.

I'm throwing out these stats!

**According to Parenting's nationally representative survey of more than 1,000 mothers on MomConnection, an online panel of moms, the majority of us confess to feeling anger at surprising levels. We love our husbands -- but we're mad that we spend more mental energy on the details of parenting. We're mad that having children has turned our lives upside down much more than theirs. And more than anything else, we're mad that they get more time to themselves than we do.

** 46% of moms get irate with their husbands once a week or more. Those with kids younger than 1 are even more likely to be mad that often (54 percent). About half of the moms describe their anger as intense but passing; 1 in 10 say it's "deep and long-lasting. - YES. I can honestly say I am irate with Max at least 2-3 times per week. Definitely in this 46%.

**44% -- are peeved that dads often don't notice what needs to be done around the house or with the kids (it jumps to 54 percent for moms with three-plus children). We hate that we have to tell them what needs to be done, that they can step over a basket of laundry on their way to find the remote control. - Now THIS is the main source of my anger. It absolutely drives me crazy!

**40% -- are also angry that their husbands seem clueless about the best way to take care of kids. We know we didn't marry buffoons. - Enh, Max is pretty good about this. He doesn't feed her marshmallow sandwiches or dress her in scuba gear. He's not clueless in this department. Good job!

**40% of moms are mad that Dad can't multitask. And the more kids they have, the madder they are: 46 percent of moms with three-plus kids are irked by this. - Yep. "Why didn't you take the poopie diaper outside to the garbage can?" "I was watching the baby!!" Seriously? This is a constant irk...just because you are "watching" the baby doesn't mean you can't also help clean up at the same time. There have been many days when Max is at work or somewhere else and I'm there watching the baby, yet, I manage to sweep, vacuum, dust, wash the dishes, etc. And guess what? She hasn't once gone missing or gotten hurt.

**31% of moms say their husbands don't help with the chores -- in fact, they generate more. - Yes, yes, yes. Again, #1 on my list.

**33% of moms say their husbands aren't shouldering equal responsibility and are less concerned than they are about their children's basic needs, like nutrition and clothing -- a number that rises to 41 percent for those with three or more kids. What these moms wish: that their husbands acted more like partners -- especially when it comes to the nitty-gritty. - Well, can't really say for sure on this one. I mean, I am the main one to buy the groceries, the clothes, make sure she gets to the doctor appointments, etc. I mean, he's just as concerned about her well being as I am. This isn't really a big point with us.

**50% of moms tell us their husbands get more time for themselves. The lack of time off is a huge issue for the moms carrying the most anger. Over 60% of the moms who get mad weekly -- and almost three-quarters of those who are angry every day -- feel this way. - I think we both get somewhat equal time for ourselves. I mean, I actually work an 8-hour day, while Max works a 5-6 hour day. And he gets an extra hour or two to himself during the day if he leaves work early. And of course, on the weekends, he HAS to take a nap. Well, I guess he does get more time to himself. This is how I justify going out with my girls though. Although it always is after she's in bed. Hmph. Geez. Now I'm thinking he gets a lot of extra time to himself.

**60% of moms don't tell their friends what they're going through, or they make light of it. - Well, I'm blogging about it!

Also, to note: Anger is worth paying attention to. If you're chronically at the boiling point, it could be damaging to your health.

When you're mad, your body floods with adrenaline. If you're often angry, you might lose your ability to produce a hormone that blunts adrenaline's worst effects. You can also weaken your heart, harden your arteries, raise your cholesterol, damage your kidneys and liver, and put yourself at risk for depression or anxiety. It's no wonder that some scientists consider chronic anger more likely to kill you prematurely than smoking or obesity.

Redford Williams, M.D., director of the Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke University, is blunt about it. "Anger kills," he says. "It's not just that it can damage your heart -- which it does -- but it's also been found in epidemiological studies to identify people who are more likely to have a heart attack or drop dead from any cause." Great. We're not only mad because we're carrying our family's weight, it's going to kill us.

I didn't want to write this blog to bash Max or anything. He really does do a lot for us and for Lola. And, don't get me wrong, I completely appreciate everything he does do. Could he do more? Of course. Could I? Sure. But, I do realize that there are some things that I should just let go, while there are also things that need to be said to him. I think a major part of my irritation isn't with him, but with our current living situation. This is why I am working so hard to save up money to be able to buy a house. Our place really needs a lot of work and I don't think we can stand to live there much longer. I know that when we have our own place, all nice and new, a lot of this will be alleviated. Until then, I will continue to pursue things that relieve my stress and try not to be such a beotch all the time!