Madness!

While perusing through a parenting website, I came across a fantastic article called, Mad at Dad. I was so glad to have found it. Lately, I've been noticeably angry with Max and it's driving me crazy. I am just happy to learn that I am not the only one who harbors these feelings. It's a crazy thing.

I'm throwing out these stats!

**According to Parenting's nationally representative survey of more than 1,000 mothers on MomConnection, an online panel of moms, the majority of us confess to feeling anger at surprising levels. We love our husbands -- but we're mad that we spend more mental energy on the details of parenting. We're mad that having children has turned our lives upside down much more than theirs. And more than anything else, we're mad that they get more time to themselves than we do.

** 46% of moms get irate with their husbands once a week or more. Those with kids younger than 1 are even more likely to be mad that often (54 percent). About half of the moms describe their anger as intense but passing; 1 in 10 say it's "deep and long-lasting. - YES. I can honestly say I am irate with Max at least 2-3 times per week. Definitely in this 46%.

**44% -- are peeved that dads often don't notice what needs to be done around the house or with the kids (it jumps to 54 percent for moms with three-plus children). We hate that we have to tell them what needs to be done, that they can step over a basket of laundry on their way to find the remote control. - Now THIS is the main source of my anger. It absolutely drives me crazy!

**40% -- are also angry that their husbands seem clueless about the best way to take care of kids. We know we didn't marry buffoons. - Enh, Max is pretty good about this. He doesn't feed her marshmallow sandwiches or dress her in scuba gear. He's not clueless in this department. Good job!

**40% of moms are mad that Dad can't multitask. And the more kids they have, the madder they are: 46 percent of moms with three-plus kids are irked by this. - Yep. "Why didn't you take the poopie diaper outside to the garbage can?" "I was watching the baby!!" Seriously? This is a constant irk...just because you are "watching" the baby doesn't mean you can't also help clean up at the same time. There have been many days when Max is at work or somewhere else and I'm there watching the baby, yet, I manage to sweep, vacuum, dust, wash the dishes, etc. And guess what? She hasn't once gone missing or gotten hurt.

**31% of moms say their husbands don't help with the chores -- in fact, they generate more. - Yes, yes, yes. Again, #1 on my list.

**33% of moms say their husbands aren't shouldering equal responsibility and are less concerned than they are about their children's basic needs, like nutrition and clothing -- a number that rises to 41 percent for those with three or more kids. What these moms wish: that their husbands acted more like partners -- especially when it comes to the nitty-gritty. - Well, can't really say for sure on this one. I mean, I am the main one to buy the groceries, the clothes, make sure she gets to the doctor appointments, etc. I mean, he's just as concerned about her well being as I am. This isn't really a big point with us.

**50% of moms tell us their husbands get more time for themselves. The lack of time off is a huge issue for the moms carrying the most anger. Over 60% of the moms who get mad weekly -- and almost three-quarters of those who are angry every day -- feel this way. - I think we both get somewhat equal time for ourselves. I mean, I actually work an 8-hour day, while Max works a 5-6 hour day. And he gets an extra hour or two to himself during the day if he leaves work early. And of course, on the weekends, he HAS to take a nap. Well, I guess he does get more time to himself. This is how I justify going out with my girls though. Although it always is after she's in bed. Hmph. Geez. Now I'm thinking he gets a lot of extra time to himself.

**60% of moms don't tell their friends what they're going through, or they make light of it. - Well, I'm blogging about it!

Also, to note: Anger is worth paying attention to. If you're chronically at the boiling point, it could be damaging to your health.

When you're mad, your body floods with adrenaline. If you're often angry, you might lose your ability to produce a hormone that blunts adrenaline's worst effects. You can also weaken your heart, harden your arteries, raise your cholesterol, damage your kidneys and liver, and put yourself at risk for depression or anxiety. It's no wonder that some scientists consider chronic anger more likely to kill you prematurely than smoking or obesity.

Redford Williams, M.D., director of the Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke University, is blunt about it. "Anger kills," he says. "It's not just that it can damage your heart -- which it does -- but it's also been found in epidemiological studies to identify people who are more likely to have a heart attack or drop dead from any cause." Great. We're not only mad because we're carrying our family's weight, it's going to kill us.

I didn't want to write this blog to bash Max or anything. He really does do a lot for us and for Lola. And, don't get me wrong, I completely appreciate everything he does do. Could he do more? Of course. Could I? Sure. But, I do realize that there are some things that I should just let go, while there are also things that need to be said to him. I think a major part of my irritation isn't with him, but with our current living situation. This is why I am working so hard to save up money to be able to buy a house. Our place really needs a lot of work and I don't think we can stand to live there much longer. I know that when we have our own place, all nice and new, a lot of this will be alleviated. Until then, I will continue to pursue things that relieve my stress and try not to be such a beotch all the time!

Post Race

We did it! We finished our first half marathon! It was an awesome experience and I am so glad I decided to take on the challenge. The whole energy of the marathon was amazing. Didn't really get that much sleep the night before. A sick baby and nerves didn't allow me to rest as much as I probably should have. And the dreams...THE DREAMS! It's like those dreams you have prior to a big test or any other big event, which makes sense because a marathon is pretty much a big event! I had a dream that my phone died and Monique never picked me up to take me to the race. And then when I finally got there, I realized I left my race bib at home, so I had to go back home (to Sugar Land) to pick it up. It was 6:30AM and I had to race back to downtown to make sure I made it. Then I had to change in some crowded bathroom. Then I finally saw Monique and then we had to go to the baggage claim and the attendant was obviously high, and he left and was taking forever to come back to help me. Thankfully, I woke up 5 minutes before Monique got to my house. Ha! It was only a dream and we made it there with plenty of time. The 13 miles wasn't as bad as I had expected. It was still hard and it took a lot to make it to the finish line. My ankles and hips started to feel the pain at about mile 8. And those last 3 miles were the worst! But, I finished at 2:42. I was shooting for 2:30, but those last 3 miles seriously destroyed me. Oh well, that just means I need to train harder for my next half.

Which brings me to this - I really enjoyed running this and the challenge that it presented. I am serious about starting to train better and harder for upcoming races this year. I know both Mo and I plan on doing the Houston Half again next year, so that's exciting. But in the meantime, I will be trying to better my running times, pace and abilities. I started this out as a hobby, as a way to lose some weight. It's still a hobby, and of course, I would love to lose some weight, but now it's something that can challenge my body and my mind and allow me to set goals for myself. I'm excited to see how this all works out, and hopefully around this time next year, I can say that I beat my time and had fun doing it!

Death Pool 2010

As of late, I've been, well I wouldn't call it "obsessed", more like pre-occupied with which famous or not so famous celebrity has died. Whenever I open my Internet Explorer, I always expect to see the msn headline..."legendary so and so has passed away". Some days I'm disappointed to see nobody there. So, I'm making my own list. I'll put down my top 11 people who I don't think will make it to see 2011. This is in no particular order, and of course, just for fun. I don't wish death upon anyone (that often).

Kirk Douglas *I've been waiting for this to happen since 2004. He's really old.

Dennis Hopper *Sadly, he has cancer. It will be a loss, cause he's a pretty cool dude. And quite handsome.

Elizabeth Taylor *Goodness, she was beautiful! Lady is getting on up there, though.

Yogi Berra *Well, I had to have a sports figure up here, and he's pretty legendary...and old.

Amy Winehouse *2009 wasn't kind, and I don't think 2010 will be any better for this hot mess.

Rue McClanahan *She had a minor stroke yesterday, and sadly, she may be joining ole Bea up in Golden Girl heaven.

Hugh Hefner *It's just his time. He wasn't even attractive when he was young. Mr. Burns, much??

Courtney Love *I don't believe this one needs an explanation.

Billy Graham *Fire and brimstone, y'all. This evangelist will be taking a hike soon. I just know it.

Mischa Barton *Our poor, troubled "Marissa". I think she'll bite it before the Lohan.

Bill Cosby *Yep...The Cos. Last I saw him, he was looking rough.



So, there you have it. I'm betting on these 11. Now, my question is...am I morbid for doing this?

18 months

My little girl had her 18-month check-up yesterday. I can't believe she is almost 2. Sheesh. So far, she is still healthy and growing and doing everything a normal 18-month old should do.

Her measurements are good - 33 inches long/tall - that's 90th percentile! There is hope after all that she may be taller than me. That makes me happy! Give her at least 2-3 more inches, I want those gams to be nice and long!

24 pounds - 50th percentile. I must say we're doing good with her eating habits. Although, she is beginning to become a bit more of a pickier eater. My baby who once loved all veggies refuses to eat anything green. Made some green beans the other night, even put a little sprinkle of cheese and some salt, and nope...still not going in her mouth. At least she is still good with her fruits and only drinking water and milk. She gets her occassional watered down soda, but for the most part, I think we are instilling in her good eating habits. I hope we can keep it up.

We got handouts on disciplining, time-outs and of course, potty training. She knows what the potty is and she is beginning to start to pull at her clothes when she is wet or dirty. She walks to her room and gets a diaper after she poops most times. That's a good sign. I think we will start with the basics ---reading potty books, talking about going, in the next few months. Hopefully by 2 she can be halfway there. All I know is that I am ready to save some money on diapers. Geez, those things are expensive!!

One (hypenhated) word. TIME-OUTS. This little girl. She has perfected the art of throwing a tantrum. We are going to start this time out thing - 1 minute per age in years. We'll start with one minute and see how it goes. I hope it works. She needs to learn that she can't always get her way, or that extra cookie, or that candy cane. And she has to start realizing that we HAVE to leave places! She just started this. First, my mom came over and she freaked out - the worst I have seen yet, for about 10 minutes because my mom left. And then at the NYE party, when we tried to put on her sweater. This was a mild one and it only lasted a few minutes. When we left Gymboree, she fought me for 5 minutes getting into her car seat. Arching the back, flailing, screaming, kicking, turning - the works. So...I am looking forward to implementing some discipline and I hope it works!

Here are some new pictures - courtesy of Daddy

Daddy decided to draw some whiskers on her while Mommy was getting ready for the NYE party.

Whiskers

2010

The new year is upon us, finally. I love the holidays and I love all of the get togethers and family time, but there is always a part of me that is just so glad when it is all over. It seems that everything gets back to normal after the first of the year. I know that my motivations and eating habits are back to normal. I feel like I've gained a ton, but in reality, I didn't, so that's good. I am ready to re-prioritize, man.

List time! Here is my list of goals/resolutions/accomplishments I am hoping for in 2010:

• I struggled with this weight thing constantly in 2009. I would make headway and then get into the habit of ruining it all and blowing it. I am over that! I have clothes that I refuse to get rid of hanging in my closet collecting dust. I always tell myself that I WILL wear those clothes again, and this year I am going to work really hard to do it. I have this half marathon coming up in 13 days and I am ready for it! I've been good on the exercise, but the diet is what kills me. So, I plan on sticking with my running and getting to the gym more often, switch it up a bit. I really want to get into Spinning this year and maybe throw some Pilates in there as well. I hope the '10 will be more successful for me in the weight loss department than '09 was.
• Run more! I want to try to run at least 1 race per month. I like the 5k's, and would be happy to run a few more 10k's. Maybe even do another half-marathon. There are always tons of races to choose from, especially the closer we get to warmer weather. I really love this running thing.
• Save $$! I always told myself that I want to be a home owner by the time I was 30. Well, it's about that time. Yes, I got a little off track with my finances due to overwhelming debt, but I am in a much better place now and feel that I have better control of my credit/debt situation. I have worked up a nice little budget for both me and Max and hope to abide by it, religiously. I just feel that saving needs to be a priority for us and having a little one makes this goal the most important. I want to provide the best for my little one and being a homeowner makes me feel like I can make anything possible for her. Our goal is to save as much as possible, cutting out unnecessary expenses/extras, and accumulating enough by late 2010. With all of the help that is out there for first-time buyers, I think we will be able to become homeowners in late 2010 or early 2011.
• Job/Career. Make a decision about this company I am currently working for. It's a start-up and it seems to be going very well. We are very well funded and all, but there just seems to be something missing for me. I don't feel like there is anywhere to "move-up". There has been talk of some HR duties, but I'm not sure where that stands for now. I need to make a decision about getting my Masters. And if so, in what? History? Education? HR Management? It all depends on how this job goes. If I stick with it and there becomes a need for HR, then I am confident they will pay for at least half of my Masters. If not, then do I do the teaching thing, but get my Masters first and that way have an "in" to administration? Continue with my education in History and hope to one day become a professor? I just don't know. This one needs a lot of thought! It's in there, swirling around in my mind, though.
• Reconnect. I am going to try to make it a monthly thing, schedule permitting, to reconnect with old friends from my past. Whether it be a quick lunch or meeting for a drink or two, there are a few old friends that I hope to reconnect with and continue good friendships with.
• Stay connected with all of my gal pals. I am always a sucker for a game night, dinner, or drinks. I love all of my friends and I hope we get to hang out in the new year as much as we were able to in 2009.
• Make sure Lola is happy! We joined Gymboree yesterday. Went to the Play & Learn class and she absolutely loved it. It's a small group of toddlers aged 16-22 months and they have "lesson plans" that allows them to play with and learn certain activites. For instance, yesterday was Up & Down day. They got to climb, slide and bounce on ramps, slides, balance beams, etc. She had a blast. So they have weekly classes that we are enrolled in and every week we will go and play. I think this is good for her because 1) she's full of energy and it's a great way to expend some of that energy, 2) it's great for her development, and 3) it's just fun for her. I have been wanting to get her enrolled in something like this for the longest time, so I am glad I finally did it! As she gets older they offer additonal classes and I am really looking forward to starting a tumbling/gymnastics class!

Well, those are the only goals I can think of for now. I think, for the most part the majority of my attention will be on saving money. That means in order for hanging out with my ladies, there needs to be a lot of game nights! C'mon ladies, bring it!