And then it was July...

I've been neglecting my little blog here. But no need to worry, June was a busy month. I am back and will be updating regularly. Back to work from my week and a half vacation and I must say, I feel refreshed and ready to take on everything that the day throws my way (after this blog update, of course!). Funny thing about vacation, or rather staycation in my case. At this point I would much rather stay at home than deal with the stress of taking an actual vacation. I'm sure this will change by next year, but for now...I'm all good on staying in town during vacation time. What all has happened since last posting, let's start with a run down.

- My baby cakes turned TWO! I can't believe it. She is the light of my life and I am so grateful that I was able to take time off to spend with her for her special day. This is something I hope to be able to do every year - schedule vacation time with her birthday, so once she's old enough we can start going on special birthday trips. We had her kid party on Sunday at Bounce-U and she had an absolute blast! The highlight was when she climbed up the 40-foot slide and didn't want to go down with anybody. Her cousin, Brandon grabbed her around the neck - in a gentle, headlock-y way, and she laid on her stomach and slid down. We were all screaming, noooo! Not on her stomach! But, she was okay, thankfully! It was pretty hilarious. And of course, she got to see all of her aunties at the housewarming, too. All in all, I think the kid had a great birthday.

- We had our housewarming/potluck. Thanks again to all of you ladies! I had a blast and I am glad that I got to see all of you and that we could welcome you all to our new home. The food was delish, the wine was a-plenty and the company was appreciated. We must do it again - not necessarily at my house - just about anywhere will do!

- Speaking of the house, it feels like home. But, as you all saw, there is still lots to do, furniture to buy, pictures to hang, decorating to occur. I made a trip to Pier 1 last week and I pretty much want everything there. I have started my wish list, and I know that slowly, but surely we will get all that we need and it will start to feel even more like home! First on the list - entertainment center/new tv and then a patio set. Pier 1 will be my go-to for the patio. I'm in love with multiple sets.

- Weight Loss/Exercise adventures. I'm officially down 10 pounds since starting my "diet", which is actually more of a lifestyle change. I decided in May that I was serious about losing weight. My "fat" pants were beginning to get tight and I had to do something. No more junk food, no more endless snacking, and most importantly, no more eating like a was still a teenager. I think I finally realized that I am a friggin' 30 year old and I needed to start eating foods that were good for me. Not just for my body and losing weight, but also for my well being. Needless to say, I feel loads better, clothes are beginning to look better, and I am beginning to see a difference. I have been continuing my runs and try to do that at least 3 nights a week. And since variety makes weight loss more effective, I started playing tennis one night a week. I'll be adding more variety in as my schedule gets more concrete. More biking and swimming are on my list! I think I want to lose at least another 10-15 pounds. While I would love to lose like, 30-40 pounds...that just doesn't seem realistic at this point and I refuse to obsess about it to that point. If I'm not "perfect", then so be it. Being healthy and a good example to my daughter is 100%more important than wearing a size 4 again.

- Now that I am back at work, post-vacation, I feel refreshed and focused. We have started the process of moving offices, so that has been thrown my way and it is already stressing me out! But, hey at least I'm staying busy.


All in all, the past month has been a great one and I am looking forward to the second half of 2010.

Settled

Some stuff-

-So, we are officially in the house and we are back to feeling normal and like we are settled in. The move-in went well, besides the washing machine incident. But, otherwise our furniture looks fantastic - and is super comfy! We are all unpacked, save for a few items that we still need to hang on the walls. I think we've settled in nicely. Had a family breakfast the other weekend and all of Max's family got to see the house. It was fun. My brother and kiddos have been by a few times to play with Lola - which she loves. Trying to think of a good time to have a sort of housewarming, but with Lola's birthday right around the corner, I'm not sure how soon we will be able to have 2 parties back-to-back! But, we will get there soon
enough.

-We are going to Arkansas for our semi-annual visit to PawPaw John. My little sister is graduating high school and we will be there for that. It's always good to get away for a few days, we always have a great time up there. It's a long weekend so we'll get an extra day to spend with the family.

-I feel like I've finally conquered my demons who weren't allowing me successful weight loss. Well, I can now totally blame it on living in a house with a kitchen that no one would want to cook in. Overall, I pretty much gained back the weight I had lost in 2008/2009. I was looking okay there for a while. But, life got hectic and my body paid the price. I have lost 7 pounds since being in our new home. I haven't bought my lunch once since we've moved! That means, saving money and eating better, healthier and less. Oh, and I've been drinking at least 3 liters of water a day! This is helping me stay full. Love it. I've been running around the neighborhood a few times, but still need to find a route that I like better. I ran a 5K this past weekend and my time was pretty comparable to my average - about 35 minutes. Although, back in the cooler months of March/April, my time was at 32 minutes. I blame it on the heat! Oh well, I'm back in the zone and I plan to definitely better my running times. I hope to run another 5K in June, so we will see if I improve at all. I've also finally gotten back to the gym! Been loving the pool these past few weeks. I'm determined to lose at least 15 pounds now. It will take some time, but I'm confident!

That's about it for now. Looking forward to some lady-time soon!

Flying by...

My goodness, it's almost June, which means that Lola is almost TWO. I cannot believe it. It seems like so much has happened in these last two years, and now that I actually think about it - a lot HAS happened! Let's see we've been through a hurricane, we've taken a few road trips to Arkansas, we've moved twice, went through semi-renovating a house, bought a new house, and now that we're in the new house I am hoping that everything calms down and stays calm for the next two years! But, we know that probably won't be the case. I hope in the next two years a few friends will welcome their own little bundles o' joy and I'll get to be an Auntie again. That or I may just have to have another one of my own. We're still pretty much undecided about that, but that's another blog post.

Since we're almost 2, here's a little update on Lo-bear. She is amazing. Her language has blossomed immensely in these last few months. She actually uses phrases now and we can almost tell what she wants when she tries to tell us. She is a riot. She's actually really funny and goofy. She is bossy, according to her teachers at school. She "enforces" the rules and has no problem telling all of the other kids "no" when they are doing something they're not supposed to. She can count to 4. I was totally surprised by this yesterday. She was sitting on the floor in the guest room, taking out candles from the packaging, and counting them out, "1..2..3..4." She can also say a few words in spanish - abre, hola, corre - all thanks to Dora the Explorer, I'm sure. And she can count to two in spanish. We're starting on the alphabet and her colors, cause she hasn't quite grasped those yet. She still loves music and I catch her singing along to certain songs at times, and she loves to sing along with me. Her favorite hobby? Jumping. Jumping. Jumping. That is all this kid wants to do. Don't even get her near a "moonwalk", "jumperoo" thing. She will stay in that thing for hours. Jumping on the beds, the couches, off of anything that is even an inch off the ground. What else? Oh, she likes kicking the ball. We got her a soccer ball and she will stay outside and actually kick that thing around. And she kicks pretty well, considering she's only 22.5 months! Maybe I have a little soccer player on my hands.

Here are a few pics that my dad took while he was in town last month. Enjoy!


At her cousin's birthday party, eating her fave - a cupcake!


See how happy they make her?!


With one of her cousins, Brandon on his John Deere. She loved it!


Jumping! She was extremely ticked off when I had to drag her off, kicking and screaming. It was the end of her world.


Jumping on her bed. It's amazing that she's never had to visit the emergency room!


Giving her pawpaw John kisses. She loves him so much!


Look at those curls!!


Another thing she loves? Being outside. Being a kid rules!

So, there you have it, a few new pics. It's amazing how time flies and how quickly they grow. I miss my little baby, but I love being able to watch her grow into a little girl! Here's to the next 2 years!

I almost never

I don't think I've ever really posted a blog dedicated to things, specifically clothes that I want. Namely because I very rarely go shopping for new clothes - for myself - and the fact that I'm pretty fat. But, I think I've caught the fever! This will serve as my first official fashion post. My style? Yeah, don't really have one. I like to keep it simple. I like the jeans and a t-shirt look. I still rock my converse and when I get dressed up, it's in slacks and a nice blouse. Not big on dresses, definitely do not follow fashion, so I don't really know what's cool or anything. As long as it fits and it allows me to feel at least a little comfortable, I'm down with it. But, I do know that my work style and out-of-work style need to neatly mesh. Always a factor - covering up those pesky arm and feet tattoos. So, I like to be able to wear cute tops with a cover up - if needed, that way as soon as I leave for the day, I can throw off my blazer/cardigan/sweater and be on my way! Current job doesn't really have any guidelines, and it's pretty casual, so that's always good. Enough about me!! Below are a few items that I really like and will work pretty hard to obtain this summer!


This cute little number would be perfect at work, perfect for a night out and just a perfect LBD, overall.


I love this outfit. It screams summer-cool. And I love it!


This is just the right amount of casual, coolness for me. I would pretty much wear this outfit, or a variety thereof, pretty much everywhere.


And this. This would be a little dressier. Man, linen pants - how I love thee. (Is that horrible?) In high school, I had 2 pairs of linen pants that I absolutely loved. This look is bringing it back to me. I also think I'm ready to brave the scarf look. May be a little late, but you know what they say...


In love with this shirt from The Gap. Easy to dress up or down. Could wear to work, which is always a good thing!


Also, really love this shirt. Paired with some khaki's would be the perfect Friday outfit.


No, really. I really do want this hat! I WILL be going to the beach this summer. I WILL be frequenting the community pool in the neighborhood, and I WILL wear this hat! Gotta protect this porcelain skin, dears.

And, since I will be frequenting places that require less clothing, I will most definitely be buying these:


There you have it, folks. My first blog about looks I like. I kind of like this. Maybe I'll do so more often. Great. Now I want to go shopping on my lunch break.

The Runs

No, not THAT kind...I "ran" across this article the other day and thought it spoke perfectly to how I feel about running. Although, these past few months I have gotten away from my scheduled runs, and I hate it. But, I've promised myself that, with these words, I won't feel guilty and I won't let much stop me from accomplishing something that makes me feel so good.

The Kids: Why Do You Have to Run, Mommy?
By Dimity McDowell

There are two ways my kids relate to my running.

Way one: They hate it. **My note - Lola isn't old enough to hate my running, but I'm sure she'll get there eventually. Maybe we'll just let Max be one of those kids in this article...**

When I change into my running clothes, Ben, who is looking at a machine book on the bed, says, "Mom? Are you going running?" I whisper, "Yes," and he goes back to examining street sweepers. Meanwhile, Amelia, who was happily chatting to her dolls in her room five seconds ago, suddenly streaks into the bedroom. "MOM! DON'T GO!" she screams as she leeches onto my quad and forces tears from her eyes. Never mind she might have spent the next 45 minutes—the amount of time I'm planning to run—in her room, oblivious to my absence. Never mind we spent 12 full hours together yesterday, and today, we've got another full day planned. Never mind I've gone for a run at least 1,000 times in her six years, and every single time, I return. Doesn't matter. She acts like I'm going on a six-month trip to Turkmenistan. Her histrionics usually tip Ben over the edge, too, and he crawls off the bed and commands the other leg. "Grant, can you help me please?" I yell to my absent husband, unaware that he's parked in the bathroom. His lack of response sets off my impatience, so I extricate my legs from the octopus arms, cruise down the stairs, and focus my eyes on the prize: the front door. I open it a crack, slip out to the wails of, "Mom! MOM-MA!" and don't look back. I'm surprised my neighbors haven't called Child Protective Services on me yet.

It goes without saying that when I finish, the pair, perched in front of the tube, doesn't even acknowledge my return. Way two: They want to be like me. When she was 4 years old, Amelia ran one race, the Scream Scram, around Halloween. Dressed as a butterfly, she ran the 100 meters as fast as she could, her antennae bobbing along. Afterward, she couldn't stop talking about it—and the gift bag. She hung her race number on her door. The following Monday, Ms. Jenny, her preschool teacher, told me she'd never seen Amelia so proud as when she recounted the race. **My note - I absolutely cannot wait for something like this for Lola!**

The Jekyll/Hyde scenarios strike signature feelings of parenthood: guilt and pride. The former is easy to summon. Just think of that training adage, "Somewhere out there, somebody is working harder than you are," and you pretty much have parenting in the uberambitious 21st century in a sentence. Somewhere out there, a mom spends Saturday morning hovering over her first-grader doing addition tables, schlepping her kid to tae kwon do lessons, organizing a playdate for five kids at her house, or patiently making blueberry muffins with him and not losing it when the new bag of flour spills all over the floor.

Somewhere out there, a mom is not running. That mom is not me. I typically don't feel like I should be reading Frog and Toad All Year for the fifth time in two days instead of doing a tempo run. But I'm not immune to maternal guilt. As relief fills my body when I run down the block, out of my kids' formidable vocal ranges, I do wonder: Will their early memories of me be dominated by an image of my back, heading out the door, as they scream bloody murder? It's a possibility. Memories are so random. I remember things vividly from my childhood—things that have shaped the person I am, I believe—that my two sisters can't even recall, and vice versa. There's no guarantee which of my actions will stick to their souls and which will bounce off. **My Note: Well, until I reach the point of real training, I don't think this will be a problem.**

Then Amelia busts out a race like the Scream Scram, and guilt is replaced by a ridiculous amount of pride. Rosy cheeked, she held my hand, swinging it as we walked to the car. I'd trade mastering silent "e" any day for a moment like that.
Maternal guilt seems to be inversely proportionate to the child's age. The younger the kid is, the guiltier you feel for leaving him. When you walk out the door, unsure if your wailing 2-month-old will take a bottle of freshly pumped milk, your heart weighs heavy. When you walk out the door, certain your 6- and 3-year-olds will stop their dramatics in approximately 15 seconds, your heart kind of laughs. And when you walk out the door, leaving behind a moody, monosyllabic 13-year-old who is driving you crazy, I'm guessing your heart wonders if it's fit enough to run for three hours instead of one.

I also think guilt subsides when you accept that the time you spend alone running—time spent strengthening your spirit, confidence, and spunk—is far more valuable than simple face time. Plus, running is a practical thing to do for a mother who is interested in keeping an even-keeled house. The miles defuse frustrations, create mental order, instill calmness, and reignite flames barely flickering. Delicious memories of my kids and husband often come to me during a run, and they help me remember why I am where I am in life.

My mom wasn't a runner, but she did have her own outlet: horses. During my childhood, we boarded up to five horses in our battered red barn. She stacked their hay, cleaned their tack, and chopped out their water buckets when the Minnesota winters turned them to ice. At various points in her life, she coowned The Horse Habit, an equipment store; ran multiday horse shows; and, when my parents divorced, got a full-time office job at the local track. I don't think I ever screamed, "Don't go!" when she went off to ride, but I never enjoyed throwing my leg over a thousand-pound beast. But with her love of horses, my mom demonstrated how to be passionate about something, how to delicately weave an activity into your life so that it marks you but doesn't define you. She showed me you can be a mother, have another job, and still carve out time for yourself.

As every parent learns, "force" is not a verb that works well with kids. Still, I'm going to, um, strongly encourage them to find their own version of running, something that challenges and calms them, makes them feel alive and proud, and surrounds them with lifelong friends.

When this strategy inevitably fails, I'll turn to the other two signature emotions of parenthood: hope and faith. I'll hope they stumble into their version of running, as I did into mine. In the meantime, I'll have faith in the all-too-accurate message from a magnet my mom surreptitiously stuck on my fridge: "Sooner or later, every daughter becomes her mother."

I just really love the message in that snippet. It makes me feel better about having something that is mine, and that enables me to fall into a moment of clarity, serenity and peace.

Max recently told me that he would be starting some part time work on Saturday mornings, which lead well into the afternoon. We don't necessarily need the money. I was upset. Saturdays are race days. Participating in races motivates me to continue running. I told him that he could work, but allow me at least one weekend a month for me to run a race. It's days like that when I NEED to run, when I need to go out and have those 45 minutes to myself. And it's articles like these that remind me to never give up.

Boooring (post)

Well, boring for you all to read. A little break in my work day, thus exciting for me! In the few minutes I have before getting back to work I am going to say that I will never again bitch about NOT being busy at work. I knew what I was getting into when I took this job, that in the new year things would pick up and we would be extremely busy. Well, it's for sure the new year and definitely busy! I do love it. I love being busy. I love feeling like I'm getting things accomplished. I love the fact that everybody comes to me for anything they need. I've quickly become the GSD'er. (That means...get shit done'er). I've also become the go-to for restaurant recommendations in town! Which is pretty awesome. Everyone LOVES the places I send them to dine and impress. Pretty much everyone here is not from Houston. Well, all of the important people at least. Harhar. These foreigners like to party. Now, just to get them to take me one evening for an all-expenses paid dinner at Masraff's or Mo's - A Place for Steak. One day, one day.

Oh, and I'm definitely a freaking whiz on International travel. I never knew so many airlines existed!!

The email is a buzzin' now. Back to the grind!

Words

I love reading! The other night after finishing a chapter in the book I'm currently reading, I set it down and exclaimed, "I love reading!" to Max. He promptly told me that I just had a "Ralph" moment. But, I do! I really do. I wish I had more time in the day so I could read more. I read while I'm sitting in traffic, eating lunch, and any other free second I get - I read. I'm currently reading a book entitled, "Amy and Isabelle". It's a story about a mother and daughter, and that is why I chose this particular story. It's won a few awards and the author has a few other books that I am looking forward to starting. This book tells the story of a single mother and her teenage daughter in a small-town in New England. The daughter, seemingly innocent and all-american begins an affair with her high school math teacher. I'm only halfway through, but I really like it. It's just amazing to me how well this author captures the relationship and all of the tension between mother and daughter. At times, I felt like I was reading my diary from my teenage years. It's also amazing that I now identify more with the mother and her reasons behind the damaged relationship. I totally get the daughter's situation. But, I guess this whole motherhood thing...I'm totally siding with the mom (Isabelle) in the story. I am angry at the teacher in this book for taking advantage of the daughter (Amy).This story just kind of speaks to me, and I like that.

I also just finished The Great Gatsby and My Sister's Keeper. The Great Gatsby was a pretty good and easy read. I wanted to revisit this book. Of course, it was required reading in High School and I honestly did not remember anything about it, so I wanted to re-read. It was good. I can definitely see the reasons it is considered a 'classic'. I've actually listed the movie version on my netflix queue. I think this is my new hobby. Reading a book and then watching the movie. It's quite fun! Although the books are always so much better. Which brings me to the next book, My Sister's Keeper. Good lord! I could barely finish this book. Not that it was bad, but because it was so freaking sad. It took me a while to finish, because I seriously had to stop multiple times to gather myself. That's just something that no mother wants to ever think about; not even mothers...anyone wants to think about, ever. All I kept picturing was Lola and what would we do if, God forbid, anything ever happened to her. Geez. Overall, it was a great read and I really enjoyed the story, for the most part. I'm glad I read it. And I should be receiving the movie in the next few weeks!

On the queue for this weekend? Atonement. Loved the book. Excited about the movie. Although sometimes it pains me to have to look at Keira Knightley and her puckered lips for any extended length of time. I guess I'll just have to deal. James McAvoy should make up for it, methinks.

Disconnected

I don't know what it is lately, but I feel extremely disconnected from everything and everybody. I know we all feel like this sometimes, but it seems like something I haven't been able to kick. Maybe it's something that comes along with being a mom. Everything I do revolves around that little girl and I wouldn't change it for the world, but there are times that I feel so damn lonely. I hate feeling that way, too. I miss having a best friend. I suppose that's what happens the older we get. Or not. I don't know what it is...I guess I'm just being a debbie downer, feeling sorry for myself. I feel old and disconnected from the world. I also feel like nobody likes me. Ha! Most days I feel like Max even hates me. But seriously, I just get a feeling that my personality drives people away, I think I can be pretty annoying. At least I have Lola. That really is a sad way of thinking. I'm usually very upbeat and happy and positive and all of those things. What the hell is wrong with me!? Maybe I'm just PMS'ing...or maybe I'm just depressed. Who knows! All I know is that I hope it subsides soon and I get back to feeling better. I figure if I write it down, it will help me move forward.

Along with feeling disconnected, I feel extremely unfulfilled. Unfulfilled in my job/career. I've been lightly perusing job sites and sending out my resume to those jobs that I feel I may be interested in. I'm very good at what I do and I pride myself in knowing that I am really very good at my job. The thing is, who wants to get coffee for someone else 3 days out of the week? I mean, there's more to my job than that but those days when I am asked to do menial bullshit really get to me. I didn't get a fracking college degree to be your coffee maker. Seriously. I just hate that the door to other opportunities seems to be permanently locked. I don't want to be someone's assistant for the rest of my career, but who is going to give me a chance to do something else, say in HR or Travel or Coordination or Management? I'm hoping something else comes from this position, but it's looking bleak these days. I will continue to lurk the job boards and continue to send out my applications and resume to other opportunities that seem to have the possibility of advancement. I feel stuck and it blows.

Another area where I feel stuck? My physical state. I can't seem to get ahead and to shed any weight. I know our metabolism slows down at 30, but geez! Mine has all but disappeared. I still run 3-4 times a week, but I haven't been to the gym in some time. I eat crap and I can't seem to raise myself from eating like shit. I do good most days and I still feel like I eat better than most people, but there are days when I just want to eat candy and chips all day! I rarely do it, and when I do - binge - I feel extremely horrible about myself. I am hoping that once we get into the new house, I will feel better overall and this will lead to me eating better and getting more exercise. I think probably 95% of the reason I eat like crap right now is because our kitchen is a horrible little place. It's old, it's dirty, it's small and I really try not to be in there for any extended amount of time. Thus, leading me to not wanting to cook. So, here's to the hope that my new kitchen, my new awesome kitchen, will lead me to cook more and retain a healthier diet.

And last but not least, my social life. It's not that I miss going out once every few days for drinks/dinner/fun, but it's more that I miss the friendships that I had when I was able to go out as I pleased. I don't even know if that makes sense. I guess I just feel like my friendships have suffered, which is totally understandable. Once you're out of the loop, and not able to partake in certain events that everyone else is, it's just gonna happen. It just makes me sad sometimes. Not that there's much I can do about it, except to try my best to try to nourish those friendships I have.

With all of that being said, what happens now? One - stop being a debbie downer. Two - work on building friendships and trying new things. Three - continue the job search, something is bound to come up that I am qualified for, interested in, and LOVE. Until then, I'm going to wallow in my own filth for the remainder of the day.

Delays

Well, our closing date was supposed to be this week, but we've hit some delays and we don't know yet when our new closing date will be. Last week, the mortgage company let us know that due to a 5.5 year old collection account that is listed as "in dispute" by consumer, we were denied. Long story short...Back in August 2009, I sent in a dispute letter to this collection agency for them to verify and validate the information they were reporting. They had a few incorrect line items and were reporting incorrectly, so as a consumer, and having the full legal right to do so, I asked for verification and validation of this account. By law, these collection agencies must notate on the tradline that the consumer has disputed this information. If they are unable to provide documentation or proof that the alleged debt is owed, then they are required to remove or at least start reporting the accurate information. Well apparently, since all of this madness went down with the recession and all of the foreclosures and pretty much people who got loans they knew they couldn't afford, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae implemented some new guidelines to adhere by. They don't want the Underwriters to see that any account is in dispute. Regardless of the reason. It's pretty ridiculous and a lot of people are pissed off about it. Including me! Anyways, the underwriter asked me to try to get a written verification that this account is no longer in dispute. I, of course, called the collection agency straight away and told them, with great displeasure, that I no longer dispute the account and that they need to remove the notation from my credit reports. Well, they did that, because they have to. What they don't HAVE to do is send me anything in writing. I mean, why would they? Why would they want to help out someone who is never going to pay them? So, they refused to send me anything in writing, I let the Underwriter know, and they can't process the loan without the document. So stupid. The account is NOT in dispute, but they still won't do it.

Next step is to send our information to an affiliate lender through Pulte to see if they will approve and process the loan. My sales rep assured me that she was about 90% confident that they would do it. IF they are unable to do anything, only then can we go with the original plan, with Ryan. This time all of the incentives will be matched and carried over to Ryan because Pulte was unable to do anything for us.

So, we're once again waiting to hear something. This part really sucks and is really stressful for us. I hope the process is quicker this time and we hear something soon. Until then, our fingers are crossed and we are hoping that we have luck with this affiliate lender. Poooooo!!!!

I must admit...

Yesterday, we went to Max's dads house for some pawpaw time for Lola. They happened to be watching Twilight. I've been very, very skeptical about this whole craziness...just never understood all of the attention. Well, we watched about 30-45 minutes of the movie and I can now say that I might just understand the hype now. Very campy. Very cultish. Kinda goofy. Still not gonna read the books or anything, but I may watch the movie when it comes on TNT or something. And I finally saw what all the hoopla about R-Patz is, as well. Only when he was super vampir-ey, though. Still no Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise circa 'Interview' days, but nonetheless, I get it. And, does Kristen Stewart annoy anyone else? Girl always looks stoned! And I guess it's just the Bella character, but why so serious? Geez. Get a sense of humor, Debbie! Thing about it is, it just seems like she's totally that same personality in real life.


Wow, I really just wrote a blog about Twilight.