Another year, another list...

Day 6 of my 2-week vacation and it dawned upon me that I still have a blog, and by golly, it was time for me to update. Between movie watching, catching up on my DVR shows, resuming my running schedule and completing Christmas 2010, it's that time of year again...time to cover what was accomplished in '10 and set some new goals for 2011. In doing so, I thought it would be fun to look back on last years post and do a little comparison. To begin, my list from 2009 - time to tick off what I can.

I struggled with this weight thing constantly in 2009. I would make headway and then get into the habit of ruining it all and blowing it. Well, I feel that I've accomplished my main goal for this year. I focused on my diet and it all seemed to pay off in the end. CHECK!

Run more! I want to try to run at least 1 race per month. Well, I didn't quite run a race per month, I think the frequency of my races remained the same. Off the top of my head, I think I've completed February, May, October, November (2), and one last one in December. Semi-CHECK!

Save $$! I always told myself that I want to be a home owner by the time I was 30. CHECK!! This was the main focus of my 2010 and it happened quicker than I thought it would. Very proud of ourselves and we are looking forward to many happy years in our new home.

Job/Career. Make a decision about this company I am currently working for. Still on the fence here. I go back and forth, it was a pretty good year and as of now, I am looking forward to the new year with this company. We will see what the year brings. Uhh, kinda-check.

Reconnect. I am going to try to make it a monthly thing, schedule permitting, to reconnect with old friends from my past. Still need some work on this one. Will remain on the list for 2011.

Stay connected with all of my gal pals. I am always a sucker for a game night, dinner, or drinks. I love all of my friends and I hope we get to hang out in the new year as much as we were able to in 2009. There were some great nights and I hope to have plenty more in the new year.

Make sure Lola is happy! Well, I think I can check this off, although this will always be number 1 on every list. My little girl (officially 2.5 years old as of Christmas Day), seems to be a very well-adjusted, outgoing and happy pumpkin.

So, for 2011, my list of goals:

-- Love and adore my Lola every day. My baby will be 3 years old this year. We will continue to make sure she is happy and I look forward to all of the amazing things that 2011 will bring.

-- Run faster and more often. 2010 has been good for me and I have made lots of progress in this department. I'm faster and I feel, more athletic. Looking forward to the half-marathon at the end of January and I hope to better my time by at least 15 minutes. Also, instead of 3-3.5 miles as my normal run/work out, I think I need to increase my regular schedule to a 5 or 6 mile norm. The only way to get better is to push yourself. 2011 should be my year to focus more on times/mileage rather than weight loss.

-- Settling in the house. Hoping to be able to add more to the house this year. We have started a list of things we need/want. Dining room table, drapes/curtains, paint, art/stuff for walls, Lola's bedroom, our bedroom. I think we'll be able to get a good start on some of this in January. Looking forward to making the house feel more and more like home.

-- Learning to cook more/better, and actually doing so. We have this great kitchen, Max is a chef and I need to learn my way around the kitchen. In order to maintain a healthy lifestyle, this is very high up on my list.

-- More time with Max. 2010 seemed like a whirlwind, due to the house purchase and everything that comes along with that. Max and I really didn't make a lot of time for each other and I hope to be able to do this more in the new year. Date nights are a must!

-- Vacation. I was happy to forego a vacation for a house, but I have my list started on a great vacation in 2011. I'm sure we'll visit Arkansas at least once, but in addition to that, Baltimore & Nashville are in the running for a fall/winter football vacation. That's right. Our vacation list, it seems, will now always try to revolve around taking in a good football game.

Well, that's about all I can think of at the moment, and I think it's a pretty good start of a list. Definitely looking forward to what 2011 will bring for all of us. Well wishes to all of you in the new year and I hope to see and hang out with you all again very soon!!

Man...

Holy Crap. Those are the two words that I have to describe the past two months at work and about how busy I've been in all aspects. We have finally finished the move into our new office, but there are still hundreds of things to finish up. It's definitely been a learning experience and I hope that I never have the pleasure of organizing an office move again. I went to Dallas this week for an HR Seminar and it was great. I learned a lot and it was a very informative class. I missed my toodle-bear and I knew I had to get back to the office, but I think I learned a lot about HR and about how our company can move forward. Anyway...enough about work!

Family stuff, running - pushing myself, and getting ready for the holidays has taken up the rest of my "extra" time. The Monster-Mash 10K was a blast and it was a blast competing with myself and beating my time from last year. I ended up knocking 4 minutes off of my time from last year and it felt great. Those 25 pounds that are no longer jiggling behind you really makes a difference. I ran a 5K the week after and actually performed my personal best in that race. I finished in 30:25, and it was awesome. I think I came in 4th in my age range. But....I think there were only about 8 or 9 people in the age range to begin with. But, whatevs, I made a personal record and it's my fastest 3.10 miles to date. I'm running the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning - a 5 miler, and I'm excited to see if I can get it in under 50 minutes. We shall see.

Lola is doing great and I soooo cannot believe she is almost 2.5 years old. I absolutely can't believe it. She does so much these days, it amazes me. I am a very lucky Momma to have this little girl in my life. She is smart and social and funny and um, did I mention smart? I couldn't have asked for a better little girl if I tried. She's about 75% potty trained and that in itself amazes me. Kids are pretty cool.

One more thing I cannot believe?? That freaking Thanksgiving is next week. Um, what?? When did November arrive? My dad,stepmom and step sister are coming down from Arkansas and they are staying with us for the holiday. It's exciting because it is our first Thanksgiving in our own little house. These next few weeks are going to fly by, I am sure, but I am looking forward to some white elephant, friend time coming soon in December!! I miss all of you and can't wait to see you all. XOXO.

Distraction

While I should be busy concentrating on our upcoming office move, I am taking a much needed break and blogging about house stuff! We recently acquired 6 new high back leather dining room chairs, and I lovelove them. Now, I need a nice dining room table to complete our little "dining" area. Since we have such an open floor plan, it's been hard to envision what I really want to do, but I've found a few good ideas that I'm really liking right now.



This pic is actually from the model of our floor plan. I really like the idea of this. The table isn't too cumbersome and I think it could work in that small space. The table has to sit at least 6, so this type of table would be perfect.



This is just another view of the model that shows the main area with the table and chairs.

I've been scouring the internetz for some nice table ideas and pretty much relied upon the ole standby's in Pottery Barn, Pier 1, and Crate & Barrel.




This is a 6-seater, with extension board, and at $699...it's not a bad deal. Perfect for game nights and family dinners!

Ooooh, and we will be needing a new bed for the guest room/Lola's play room. Yes folks, it's true. We put our old TV in the guest room so Lola can go in there and watch Hairspray and Dora to her heart's content. We also have a queen-sized mattress and box spring in there, dy-ing for an awesome bed frame. I've never been an iron type of bed gal, but I think I'm changing my ways. Actually, I take that back...in high school, my mom bought me an black iron-ish day bed, and I actually really liked it.These beds - I love:







And, I'll just go ahead and mention, that my thinking was right in that if we had Lola sleeping on a full-size/queen sized bed that she would actually sleep in it, instead of in our bed. I'm sure that little crib mattress that her toddler bed holds is not the most comfortable. Well, she has successfully transitioned to sleeping in the guest room in the bed, by herself for over a week now. She still gets up and comes to our room in the morning, and a few times in the middle of the night. But, for the most part, that's all that she needed the whole time. This is not to say that we still don't put her in the bed with us anymore. I'll just say her time is split, 50/50. We love our little bed hog, it's true!

Ugh, Finally...

So, after 7 days of complete gasterointestinal HELL, I think I'm finally starting to feel normal again. Last Tuesday at about 3 pm, while leaving a meeting at The Four Seasons, I seriously thought I was going to have pull over and hurl. I thought maybe my blood sugar was just low and that it would pass. Back at work, I was simply too busy to eat anything and it was quittin' time, so I willed myself to ward it off until I got home. Once at home, I ate some pasta with chicken, but barely had an appetite. At about 8:30, I barfed! I never, ever puke when sick, so I knew something was awry. But, as per the usual relieved feeling after puking, I of course felt better. Until about 1 in the morning, when I woke up with extreme nausea. Horrible night #1. Couldn't call into work the next day, as there were executive meetings that I had to get stuff ready for. I decided I would go in and do what I needed to do and leave. Needless to say, Wednesday was spent laying in bed, answering emails and sleeping. Thursday & Friday I fooled myself into thinking I was better, regardless of the massive amounts of poopage. Friday night...laying on the couch, watching Six Feet Under, back comes the barfing. THREE times this round! Again, I never, ever puke, so this was a big deal. Saturday, I think I slept about 18 hours, which was super nice, but still did not feel rested. Dehydration had set in. Sunday, could barely eat anything, but the nausea was starting to subside. I was happy. For a bit. Well, Monday was spent on the toilet and most of today. But, back to my main point - I'm starting to feel better. The cramps are gone, the belching/gas is done and no more nausea!

I have no idea what the hell that was. Food poisoing? Possibly. Stomach virus? Quite possible. Something more serious - I hope not. As long as I don't have a relapse, I think I'll stick with one of the above. If I do, then a doctors visit is definitely in my near future.

Just glad to be feeling better. Hoping to get out there and enjoy some of this amazing fall-ish weather! So ready for a nice, long run and then a big ole glass of wine.

Cheers!

I remember

It seems like there was a lot more attention towards the 9-year anniversary of 9/11 this year. I don't know if it all stems from the whole Ground Zero/Islamic Center controversy or what. I do know that for the first time, since 2001, I really sat down and listened to the stories and watched the news coverage and remembered. That day in 2001, I was working for a real estate company in West Houston and living with Guad. On my way to work that morning, I remember it was a beautiful day. I had the windows down and was jamming something...which I cannot remember. September 11th is my brother's birthday, so I was planning on calling him when I got to work to wish him a happy 24th birthday. We had a little radio that we listened to at work and during my normal morning routine, I flipped it on and heard something about NYC and a plane crash. Our corporate office was actually in the heart of NYC, on Avenue of the Americas - to be exact, and within about 15 minutes, probably close to 9:30 or so, one of the VP's from the corporate office to tell us they are evacuating and that they would not be reachable all day. There was a television upstairs, so me and the other assistant ran up and turned on the news. I really don't remember too much of anything and/or seeing the second plane hit. I think at that point, it was a sure thing that it was a terrorist attack and not just a freak plane crash.

Of course we were sent home early. I believe Guad was already home when I got there. We sat down on the couch, watching the news, smoking cigarettes and calling people for a good 3-4 hours. I know some people came over and it seems like there were lots of people coming and going that day. I just know that when we saw those people jumping from the buildings, it was all over. It was heartbreaking to know that they made that decision to jump to their deaths. I was so saddened by what happened that day and was in a state of shock with the rest of the country.

Since 2001, I really never paid attention to, or made an effort to watch or read anything about that day. I think the furthest I made an effort to "remember" was during my weekly Rescue Me episodes.

This year, something changed. I wanted to watch the news coverage, and I wanted to hear the stories. I started recording a bunch of the specials that The History Channel began airing, and I was excited to start watching them. Saturday, I watched about 3 hours of 9/11 specials. I cried like a baby.

I think it's really sad that so much has happened since that day and because of that day. The few weeks following 9/11 felt like something out of a history book. I remember thinking that this is what it must have felt like during WWII - all of the patriotism was astounding. It seems like we, as a country, have strayed so far from what I think, holds us together as a nation. There is so much political bullshit that gets in the way of reality. Everything and everyone has an agenda. Well, we didn't on that day nine years ago - we were all Americans, and we were all shocked and saddened and in disbelief that something so tragic happened on our soil. There were no party lines drawn - no partisanship present - when those people were killed that day.

Smorgasbord

This blog is going to contain a whole smorgasbord of updates and stuff! I think I just really like writing and saying the word smorgasbord. I've been so busy at work it's been hard to take some time to update stuff! But, it's Friday and it's kind of quiet, and I'm caught up enough to take a few minutes today.

So, last night we went to Lola's "Open House" at her school. She's been there now for 3 weeks. It was basically a meet the teachers, see what their daily schedules are and watch the kids play. It was good. Lola seems to have adjusted quite well. The first week, she cried every time I left her in the morning (except that 1st morning), but the second week was better. She plays well with the other kids and she's doing really great with potty training. I hung up a chart in our bathroom at home and every time she goes in the potty, she gets a sticker. She still needs some work in telling us before she has to go, but she'll get there. We moved to the "pull-ups" and I think she's beginning to understand a little better. I think she's adjusted well and that she's happy at her school. This makes ME very happy. Yay!

Officially down 18 pounds. Still need to get off about 10 more, as I think this will improve my running times and get me back to my official pre-pregnancy weight...the one I maintained for about a year before getting pregz. It's all so very exciting, but I know that the last 10 are always the most difficult, so I will really need to dedicate myself and work hard.

Speaking of running - Looking forward to beginning actual "training" for the half. This will start once the cooler weather arrives. Which, by the way, seems like it never will! Longer runs, faster runs, MORE runs. Come on FALL, get here! First race on the list is the Monster Mash 10K. All I know is that last Halloween was freeeeezing, and it was great. I am hoping for the same temps for this years Monster Mash 10K. So far, I think I've improved my pace time - even in this hot, humid weather to under 10:30/mile - average. I think once it cools down, I'll be able to get it to flat 10:00/average. I think last year my marathon pace was 11:25 or something. Working to improve on that.

Work. One word. Busy.

I've been reading a lot lately. I got a bunch of books on sale that are stacked and waiting. I pretty much love sitting down with a good book and getting lost in it. It's the best.

Almost have a paint picked out for the office. I have about 7 different swatches taped to the wall right now and I think I'm pretty close to a decision. Can't wait to start doing stuff in there!

I think that's it for now. Will try to post more this weekend!

Jack

When Max and I first started dating, this song was put on multiple mix cd's and it was pretty much played constantly. When I hear this song now, it helps me remember the reasons we fell in love. Sometimes it's good to remember. Life gets in the way much too often.

"Banana Pancakes"
by Jack Johnson

You hardly even notice 

When I try to show you this 

Song it’s meant to keep you 

From doing what you’re supposed to 

Like waking up too early 

Maybe we could sleep in 

I’ll make you banana pancakes 



Pretend like it’s the weekend now 

And we could pretend it all the time 

Can’t you see that it’s just raining 

There ain’t no need to go outside 



But just maybe, hala ka ukulele 

Mama made a baby 

I really don’t mind the practice 

Because you’re my little lady 

Lady, lady love me 

Because I love to lay here lazy 

We could close the curtains 



Pretend like there’s no world outside 

And we could pretend it all the time 

Can’t you see that it’s just raining 

There ain’t no need to go outside 



Ain’t no need, ain’t no need 

Can’t you see, can’t you see 

Rain all day and I don’t mind 



Telephone singing, ringing, it’s too early 

Don’t pick it up 

We don’t need to 

We got everything we need right here 

And everything we need is enough 

It’s just so easy 

When the whole world fits inside of your arms 

Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm 

Wake up slow, wake up slow 



But baby, you hardly even notice 

When I try to show you this 

Song it’s meant to keep you 

From doing what you’re supposed to 

Like waking up too early 

Maybe we could sleep in 

I’ll make you banana pancakes 



Pretend like it’s the weekend now 

And we could pretend it all the time 

Can’t you see that it’s just raining 

There ain’t no need to go outside 



Ain’t no need, ain’t no need 

Rain all day and I really really really don’t mind 

Can’t you see, can’t you see 

We’ve got to wake up slow

First Day

We made the move. Lola is officially in her new school. We kept reminding her that Monday she would be at a new school with new teachers and new friends. It took me a whole 5 minutes to get to the school, it was great. Over the weekend, we got some new clothes shopping done, so she was decked out in some new shoes and a matching outfit. Well, she didn't wear the necklace to class...but you get the idea.



So, we walk in and she is still very excited. We go into her class and she jumps right into playing with the other kids. Who was I kidding thinking she would have a hard time adapting, right? She proved me wrong and I was very happy about that. One of the perks at this new place is that they have a live video feed for parents to log into and watch their kiddos! I was on that mug almost all day yesterday. It's so fun to watch her interact and play. The video isn't high quality or anything, but it enables me to just see that she's not sitting in a corner by herself all day.

When Max picked her up, she ran to him and exclaimed, "Daddy, Daddy...my new friends!"

I think she had a wonderful first day at her new school, and thus far I am happy about the move. I don't know how the potty training worked out, as the afternoon teachers did not give Max a report. Hopefully Max will ask for a report today and not walk out without one.

Yay for new schools and new friends!

Room #1

I think I want to transform the home office. I think I was actually inspired, by all things, and don't laugh...Hobby Lobby. Ha! I went last night to pick up some picture frames and there were so many cute things. I FINALLY framed my Degree and man, it looks good! And that got my little wheels spinning and I am excited to try to start thinking of ideas. It will probably take at least a year to actually have it complete - just because some of the furniture that I have in mind is pricey, and I will have to buy it one at a time! But, I'm thinking a paint job to start. Something nice and neutral. Beige/Tan/Cream - something along those lines. And then I'll move on to some nice drapery. And then the furniture. I'm excited! Here are some of the items that I would love to have:



I love the glass bookcase/display case. I also am in love with RED. This would be the only room that I think I could away with having bright & vibrant colors.



White would work too, though. I like white.



I like this look, too. I like the warm colors and I think the cabinet would look nice with a good, sturdy wood desk.



Gotta throw in a trunk, too. I think my obsession with African/Asian elephants would work well in a room with these items. Haha. I'm such a dork.



Those are just a few ideas I have swimming around in my head. I think I'll go pick out some possible paint choices this weekend. I'm liking the cream/very light yellow color option right now. Updates soon!

Lucky Number Seven

Dana's challenge has been accepted! After all of the countless surveys completed and the many drunk nights of spilling my deepest, darkest secrets, it's hard to imagine I have anything left to divulge. Ahhh, but I do. I do.

1) When I was around 14 or 15 years old, I pulled my hair out. I had a bald spot for a while. I just loved pulling out those coarse, curly hairs and they always seemed to be in the same exact spot. This all occurred before any knowledge of trichotillomania. I really don't think that was the cause of it at all, but maybe I did have some sort of mild obsession with it. To this day, when I find those crazy hairs, I just have to pull them out and examine - they're SO weird! And gosh, it feels good.

2) I hate sharing. There I said it. I wrote it down. I hate it. You would think, you know having a brother, living with multiple roommates and/or significant others, that I would have learned to share by now. Nope. I still get a tinge of annoyance and an urge to scream "MINE!!" when I see someone (Max) eating something that I think should only be mine, or drinking one of my diet cokes, or using my face wash/shampoo/body wash/RAZOR. I just get so irritated! I want to hoard everything and not let anyone touch it. You see, the thing is...I like to conserve. I like things to last. I hate spending money, so I conserve as much as I possibly can. When someone infringes upon my desire to use as little as possible of something, I want to fly into a rage and throw a fit. But, I know I can't. I know that I should share. It's the right, grown-up thing to do. It's a constant battle for me to stop feeling so annoyed when that last diet coke is gone or when all of my Parmesan goldfish have been eaten. I'm learning...slowly, but surely.

3) My mom sometimes worked nights when we were kids. We had a slew of babysitters, which often included my mom's friends teenage kids. Well, this one dude, Steven would come babysit us pretty frequently. We liked him, he was always fun. One Friday night he came over to watch us, we were probably about 7 & 9 years old...something like that. We were watching some movie and all of a sudden we heard a loud noise in my mom's room. We all got pretty freaked out. So, Steven grabbed a baseball bat and we all huddled together to go check it out. Well, when we were about to open mom's door, we heard a loud bang again! We ran screaming, and Steven called 911 immediately. The operator told us to wait outside while the police were dispatched. About 5 minutes later, the Sugar Land PD rolled up and cautiously entered the house. A few moments later, the cop with a big smile on his face approached us, trying not to laugh, and told us we could go back inside and that he had caught the "robber". It was a frog. He showed us and then he let it hop away. Basically, we called the cops on a frog. Such dorks! But, at least we were cautious and safe dorks.

4) On long road trips, I conduct long, drawn out fantasy worlds where me and my at-the-moment celebrity crush are in love and we go on vacations and we have these really great conversations and sometimes we fight just to make up....if you know what I mean. **wink, wink**

5) I can't listen to "September" by Ryan Adams without bawling, or at least tearing up. That song is so freaking sad, it gets me every time.

6) (Thanks Monique, I'm stealing this from you!) I'm too scared to go to a therapist because I'm afraid they'll tell me to do the things that I really want/need to do and expect me to change. I'll continue on in my happy little bubble until I just absolutely can't anymore. And hopefully that will be never!

7) I could always picture myself as a Mom, but what I pictured and what actually is, are two completely different things. And guess what - the reality one is so much better than I ever imagined. I absolutely love being a mommy and my heart beats for that little ragamuffin. She has changed my world completely.

Inspired

After a short 3 months living in our house, I've finally started to feel like maybe there's some stuff we can do to spruce the place up a bit! Dare I say that I may finally be catching a little bit of this "designing" and "decorating" bug that so many others possess. My first foray into gaining some inspiration from the internetz, I came across these three photos that caught my eye.

Up first, the master bedroom. Now, I have a very strong feeling that Max would never go for this. But, he surprises me sometimes with how girly and frilly his taste is. I love the idea of this room. I like the soft color of the wallpaper and the birdcages and the nightstand. The little wire mannequin, I could do without. And the bed. That would definitely have to be at least Queen-Sized for it to work. And I don't think I could wallpaper a whole room, so if this was on the main wall, I think it could work. But, overall I like.



Another master. I think the bed is awesome, although I'm not a fan of the whole color scheme here. Maybe a darker headboard would work. I think I just like the drop lanterns and the two nightstands. The bench here doesn't really look like it goes, but I have been itching for a bed-bench for years now! I could find a really cute one to go with something like this. Again, not a fan of the rust/yellow/turquoise theme, but with different colors, this could work!



Now the fireplace. It's just right there...in the middle of the open living room. Nothing really looks right to me just yet. But, this tickled my fancy. I don't think we would ever do anything like this to ours since it's in such a prominent place in the house...the main focal point, if you will. I like the idea, though. It's shabby, it's chic...it's cute!




Well, baby steps. I'm just getting started. Maybe sometime within the next year I will finally come up with an idea for at least one part of the house! At least the looking for inspiration part is easy and fun. Yay for decorating!

Another list! Why not?

Some interesting things I have learned these last few weeks:

* Eating less and exercising more really does work! I'm officially down 13 pounds and I feel great. I am still nowhere near my ideal weight and I could definitely use some toning, but it's a start and I am looking forward to making more changes and seeing results.

* When I see that there is definite potential to advance in my career at my current company, I am motivated to no end! I had a good discussion with a new VP and the plan is to phase me into an HR role - which is something I have been hoping to do for a few years. Our company is growing quickly and that means the need for an in-house HR person is also growing. A few seminars are scheduled for me and I am looking forward to growing professionally.

* New LCD tv's rule. Finally after years of wanting a new - technologically advanced television, we finally went out and got one this weekend. We got a pretty good deal. 47" Inch Vizio, 120 Hz. It was on sale and it looks great with our new entertainment stand in the living room. No more tv on the floor? Check. I think it was a great purchase and we are very happy with it!

* Lola. What can I say about Lola? Apparently, I am NOT the disiplinarian of the household. The other morning while we were getting ready to leave for school and work, she decided to throw her cheerios all over the bedroom floor. When I came out of the restroom, I asked her to please pick up her cereal. She promptly replied, "No!" And tried to run to the other room. In my sternest "mommy" voice, I told her to get back in the room and to pick up her mess. After a short stare-down, I asked her if she wanted a spanking. *Side note: We don't spank her, but threaten her with spankings. It usually works.* So, after asking her if she wanted a spanking, she proceeded to inform me that "No...only Daddy spank." My mouth dropped. And I told her that I could spank her too. But geez, it was so humorous to me that I had to turn around and laugh. No wonder she thinks I won't spank her. Well, I smacked her bottom and decided to help her pick up the cereal. We got it picked up and I continued to tell her that Mommy would and could spank her, too. I just have to laugh at some of the things that she does. I know there's a time to be serious, but honestly, a lot of things aren't that big of a deal. I guess it's good that Max is "the muscle". I'm sure there will come a time when I need to sit her down and give her a talking to, but until then, I'll be the easy-going, playful and compassionate momma. I think I like the sound of that.

* My new favorite show is The Gilmore Girls. I never watched it while it was on the air, but I always just caught snippets and knew that it was something that I could get into. Well, ABC-Family shows reruns, as does Soap Net and I am enjoying my DVR GG nights. I needed a break from my old stand-by, Frasier, and this is just the thing! I think I am going to netflix it though so I can watch from the beginning. Good stuff!

* Finally, trying to come up with a good 4-5 day vacation spot. Max is looking into some cabins in the mountains of Northern Georgia and I think that would actually be pretty awesome. I really want to go back to Pittsburgh for another game, but I don't think he wants to do that again this year. Boo! I'd also be down for some Nashville time. That's been on my list for a few years now. But, I'm also into getting back to Boston again. That city is the best!

Dilemma

So, I finally found the daycare where I want to move Lola. This place is literally around the corner from our house, not even a 5 minute drive. The program is structured, there is a focus on a particular reading/learning system around which they center the curriculum, the center is right next door to the elementary school she will attend, and - pretty much my favorite part - they have bathrooms IN the classroom, which enables successful potty training much more quickly! I've known since we started looking at houses that I planned on moving her from her current daycare. Now, I'm faced with a dilemma and I'm feeling stuck and need some advice. I love where she's at now. She's been there since she was a teeny 12-week old. The teachers adore her and she adores them. She knows this place, ya know? So, on Tuesday when I dropped her off, I told her teacher that her last day will probably be at the end of the month, as we want to start her at the new place in August. Much to my surprise, when I told the teacher that and after seeing the look of hurt on her face, I almost started crying!! And great - - here I go again. It didn't really help that Max told me when he picked her up yesterday, Ms. Christina (her teacher) cried! She told him that other teachers bring kids in her classroom so they can play with Lola because she is so well-adjusted and she kind of puts the other kids at ease. She said that they didn't want her to go. Anywhoot - I feel really bad. Her current school isn't bad by any means and she has seriously learned so much there. I feel like I need to list the pros and cons of the situation to get a better grasp on things. So, here is the list and I would really love to know what any of you would do:

School A - Kids R Kids, Richmond - PROS
- 5 minutes from the house
- Potty Training success in a few weeks - typically
- Structured Program
- Begin forming friendships/relationships with kids who she will (in all likelihood) grow up with, go to the same elementary, middle and high school with
- Additional Programs that include Spanish, gymnastics, computer and field trips
- More money, monthly - but that also means more money at tax time! Deductions? Yes please.
- IF we ever have another one, heavy discounts for 2nd child


School B - Spring Branch Presbyterian Academy - PROS
- Familiar - been there since 12 weeks; the teachers know her and her personality and they can cater to her if needed
- Cheaper - Save about $50-$70/month if she stays here
- Close to our jobs
- Only stays in class until 1:00 pm at latest - 2:30 if we have to keep her there longer, without extra charges

School A - CONS
- More expensive (but the additional programs seem to make that extra $50-$70 justifiable)
- Unfamiliar - will not know any of the teachers or kids. Will she be scared? Will she be mad? What if she doesn't like the teacher(s)? Will she adjust okay?
- Structured Program means she will have to stay until at least 3:30 pm in order to gain the full benefits - 8:30-3:30 is when the curriculum is "taught".
- If she stays there later, it's been discussed that Max may try to get a second job, which means she won't be picked up until 5:00 pm. Will she adjust to this okay?
- Mommy will take the Westpark Tollway in the morning AND afternoon, which will also be an added cost - approximately $30 extra/month

School B - CONS
- Location - while close to our jobs, it's far from the house and if we ever have a sick day or a time when we need to take her in, it means driving 30 minutes to do so
- While she is familiar with the teachers and kids, if she remains there, we will eventually have to move her (due to bus service to the elementary schools) and my thought process is that it's better to do it sooner rather than later. The longer she remains, the more attached ALL of us will become and when she's 4/5 years old, it will be much more difficult. Right? Right??

All in all, my mind is set on moving her, but I didn't know if I was making too big of a deal out if it all. Is it really that important? All I know is that her forming close relationships and ultimately being in an environment where she feels like part of a group is important to me. ME being the key word here. But hell, she's 2! Gosh, I'm really freaking about this. This is the first really big decision I've had to make for her...for her future. What if I fuck it all up? Man...maybe this is what parenting is really about. Fretting over decisions like this for the rest of their lives. So, it's decision time come July 19th-ish (when I will enroll and pay the new center, if we choose it). I'm scared and really hope I make the right choice.

And then it was July...

I've been neglecting my little blog here. But no need to worry, June was a busy month. I am back and will be updating regularly. Back to work from my week and a half vacation and I must say, I feel refreshed and ready to take on everything that the day throws my way (after this blog update, of course!). Funny thing about vacation, or rather staycation in my case. At this point I would much rather stay at home than deal with the stress of taking an actual vacation. I'm sure this will change by next year, but for now...I'm all good on staying in town during vacation time. What all has happened since last posting, let's start with a run down.

- My baby cakes turned TWO! I can't believe it. She is the light of my life and I am so grateful that I was able to take time off to spend with her for her special day. This is something I hope to be able to do every year - schedule vacation time with her birthday, so once she's old enough we can start going on special birthday trips. We had her kid party on Sunday at Bounce-U and she had an absolute blast! The highlight was when she climbed up the 40-foot slide and didn't want to go down with anybody. Her cousin, Brandon grabbed her around the neck - in a gentle, headlock-y way, and she laid on her stomach and slid down. We were all screaming, noooo! Not on her stomach! But, she was okay, thankfully! It was pretty hilarious. And of course, she got to see all of her aunties at the housewarming, too. All in all, I think the kid had a great birthday.

- We had our housewarming/potluck. Thanks again to all of you ladies! I had a blast and I am glad that I got to see all of you and that we could welcome you all to our new home. The food was delish, the wine was a-plenty and the company was appreciated. We must do it again - not necessarily at my house - just about anywhere will do!

- Speaking of the house, it feels like home. But, as you all saw, there is still lots to do, furniture to buy, pictures to hang, decorating to occur. I made a trip to Pier 1 last week and I pretty much want everything there. I have started my wish list, and I know that slowly, but surely we will get all that we need and it will start to feel even more like home! First on the list - entertainment center/new tv and then a patio set. Pier 1 will be my go-to for the patio. I'm in love with multiple sets.

- Weight Loss/Exercise adventures. I'm officially down 10 pounds since starting my "diet", which is actually more of a lifestyle change. I decided in May that I was serious about losing weight. My "fat" pants were beginning to get tight and I had to do something. No more junk food, no more endless snacking, and most importantly, no more eating like a was still a teenager. I think I finally realized that I am a friggin' 30 year old and I needed to start eating foods that were good for me. Not just for my body and losing weight, but also for my well being. Needless to say, I feel loads better, clothes are beginning to look better, and I am beginning to see a difference. I have been continuing my runs and try to do that at least 3 nights a week. And since variety makes weight loss more effective, I started playing tennis one night a week. I'll be adding more variety in as my schedule gets more concrete. More biking and swimming are on my list! I think I want to lose at least another 10-15 pounds. While I would love to lose like, 30-40 pounds...that just doesn't seem realistic at this point and I refuse to obsess about it to that point. If I'm not "perfect", then so be it. Being healthy and a good example to my daughter is 100%more important than wearing a size 4 again.

- Now that I am back at work, post-vacation, I feel refreshed and focused. We have started the process of moving offices, so that has been thrown my way and it is already stressing me out! But, hey at least I'm staying busy.


All in all, the past month has been a great one and I am looking forward to the second half of 2010.

Settled

Some stuff-

-So, we are officially in the house and we are back to feeling normal and like we are settled in. The move-in went well, besides the washing machine incident. But, otherwise our furniture looks fantastic - and is super comfy! We are all unpacked, save for a few items that we still need to hang on the walls. I think we've settled in nicely. Had a family breakfast the other weekend and all of Max's family got to see the house. It was fun. My brother and kiddos have been by a few times to play with Lola - which she loves. Trying to think of a good time to have a sort of housewarming, but with Lola's birthday right around the corner, I'm not sure how soon we will be able to have 2 parties back-to-back! But, we will get there soon
enough.

-We are going to Arkansas for our semi-annual visit to PawPaw John. My little sister is graduating high school and we will be there for that. It's always good to get away for a few days, we always have a great time up there. It's a long weekend so we'll get an extra day to spend with the family.

-I feel like I've finally conquered my demons who weren't allowing me successful weight loss. Well, I can now totally blame it on living in a house with a kitchen that no one would want to cook in. Overall, I pretty much gained back the weight I had lost in 2008/2009. I was looking okay there for a while. But, life got hectic and my body paid the price. I have lost 7 pounds since being in our new home. I haven't bought my lunch once since we've moved! That means, saving money and eating better, healthier and less. Oh, and I've been drinking at least 3 liters of water a day! This is helping me stay full. Love it. I've been running around the neighborhood a few times, but still need to find a route that I like better. I ran a 5K this past weekend and my time was pretty comparable to my average - about 35 minutes. Although, back in the cooler months of March/April, my time was at 32 minutes. I blame it on the heat! Oh well, I'm back in the zone and I plan to definitely better my running times. I hope to run another 5K in June, so we will see if I improve at all. I've also finally gotten back to the gym! Been loving the pool these past few weeks. I'm determined to lose at least 15 pounds now. It will take some time, but I'm confident!

That's about it for now. Looking forward to some lady-time soon!

Flying by...

My goodness, it's almost June, which means that Lola is almost TWO. I cannot believe it. It seems like so much has happened in these last two years, and now that I actually think about it - a lot HAS happened! Let's see we've been through a hurricane, we've taken a few road trips to Arkansas, we've moved twice, went through semi-renovating a house, bought a new house, and now that we're in the new house I am hoping that everything calms down and stays calm for the next two years! But, we know that probably won't be the case. I hope in the next two years a few friends will welcome their own little bundles o' joy and I'll get to be an Auntie again. That or I may just have to have another one of my own. We're still pretty much undecided about that, but that's another blog post.

Since we're almost 2, here's a little update on Lo-bear. She is amazing. Her language has blossomed immensely in these last few months. She actually uses phrases now and we can almost tell what she wants when she tries to tell us. She is a riot. She's actually really funny and goofy. She is bossy, according to her teachers at school. She "enforces" the rules and has no problem telling all of the other kids "no" when they are doing something they're not supposed to. She can count to 4. I was totally surprised by this yesterday. She was sitting on the floor in the guest room, taking out candles from the packaging, and counting them out, "1..2..3..4." She can also say a few words in spanish - abre, hola, corre - all thanks to Dora the Explorer, I'm sure. And she can count to two in spanish. We're starting on the alphabet and her colors, cause she hasn't quite grasped those yet. She still loves music and I catch her singing along to certain songs at times, and she loves to sing along with me. Her favorite hobby? Jumping. Jumping. Jumping. That is all this kid wants to do. Don't even get her near a "moonwalk", "jumperoo" thing. She will stay in that thing for hours. Jumping on the beds, the couches, off of anything that is even an inch off the ground. What else? Oh, she likes kicking the ball. We got her a soccer ball and she will stay outside and actually kick that thing around. And she kicks pretty well, considering she's only 22.5 months! Maybe I have a little soccer player on my hands.

Here are a few pics that my dad took while he was in town last month. Enjoy!


At her cousin's birthday party, eating her fave - a cupcake!


See how happy they make her?!


With one of her cousins, Brandon on his John Deere. She loved it!


Jumping! She was extremely ticked off when I had to drag her off, kicking and screaming. It was the end of her world.


Jumping on her bed. It's amazing that she's never had to visit the emergency room!


Giving her pawpaw John kisses. She loves him so much!


Look at those curls!!


Another thing she loves? Being outside. Being a kid rules!

So, there you have it, a few new pics. It's amazing how time flies and how quickly they grow. I miss my little baby, but I love being able to watch her grow into a little girl! Here's to the next 2 years!

I almost never

I don't think I've ever really posted a blog dedicated to things, specifically clothes that I want. Namely because I very rarely go shopping for new clothes - for myself - and the fact that I'm pretty fat. But, I think I've caught the fever! This will serve as my first official fashion post. My style? Yeah, don't really have one. I like to keep it simple. I like the jeans and a t-shirt look. I still rock my converse and when I get dressed up, it's in slacks and a nice blouse. Not big on dresses, definitely do not follow fashion, so I don't really know what's cool or anything. As long as it fits and it allows me to feel at least a little comfortable, I'm down with it. But, I do know that my work style and out-of-work style need to neatly mesh. Always a factor - covering up those pesky arm and feet tattoos. So, I like to be able to wear cute tops with a cover up - if needed, that way as soon as I leave for the day, I can throw off my blazer/cardigan/sweater and be on my way! Current job doesn't really have any guidelines, and it's pretty casual, so that's always good. Enough about me!! Below are a few items that I really like and will work pretty hard to obtain this summer!


This cute little number would be perfect at work, perfect for a night out and just a perfect LBD, overall.


I love this outfit. It screams summer-cool. And I love it!


This is just the right amount of casual, coolness for me. I would pretty much wear this outfit, or a variety thereof, pretty much everywhere.


And this. This would be a little dressier. Man, linen pants - how I love thee. (Is that horrible?) In high school, I had 2 pairs of linen pants that I absolutely loved. This look is bringing it back to me. I also think I'm ready to brave the scarf look. May be a little late, but you know what they say...


In love with this shirt from The Gap. Easy to dress up or down. Could wear to work, which is always a good thing!


Also, really love this shirt. Paired with some khaki's would be the perfect Friday outfit.


No, really. I really do want this hat! I WILL be going to the beach this summer. I WILL be frequenting the community pool in the neighborhood, and I WILL wear this hat! Gotta protect this porcelain skin, dears.

And, since I will be frequenting places that require less clothing, I will most definitely be buying these:


There you have it, folks. My first blog about looks I like. I kind of like this. Maybe I'll do so more often. Great. Now I want to go shopping on my lunch break.

The Runs

No, not THAT kind...I "ran" across this article the other day and thought it spoke perfectly to how I feel about running. Although, these past few months I have gotten away from my scheduled runs, and I hate it. But, I've promised myself that, with these words, I won't feel guilty and I won't let much stop me from accomplishing something that makes me feel so good.

The Kids: Why Do You Have to Run, Mommy?
By Dimity McDowell

There are two ways my kids relate to my running.

Way one: They hate it. **My note - Lola isn't old enough to hate my running, but I'm sure she'll get there eventually. Maybe we'll just let Max be one of those kids in this article...**

When I change into my running clothes, Ben, who is looking at a machine book on the bed, says, "Mom? Are you going running?" I whisper, "Yes," and he goes back to examining street sweepers. Meanwhile, Amelia, who was happily chatting to her dolls in her room five seconds ago, suddenly streaks into the bedroom. "MOM! DON'T GO!" she screams as she leeches onto my quad and forces tears from her eyes. Never mind she might have spent the next 45 minutes—the amount of time I'm planning to run—in her room, oblivious to my absence. Never mind we spent 12 full hours together yesterday, and today, we've got another full day planned. Never mind I've gone for a run at least 1,000 times in her six years, and every single time, I return. Doesn't matter. She acts like I'm going on a six-month trip to Turkmenistan. Her histrionics usually tip Ben over the edge, too, and he crawls off the bed and commands the other leg. "Grant, can you help me please?" I yell to my absent husband, unaware that he's parked in the bathroom. His lack of response sets off my impatience, so I extricate my legs from the octopus arms, cruise down the stairs, and focus my eyes on the prize: the front door. I open it a crack, slip out to the wails of, "Mom! MOM-MA!" and don't look back. I'm surprised my neighbors haven't called Child Protective Services on me yet.

It goes without saying that when I finish, the pair, perched in front of the tube, doesn't even acknowledge my return. Way two: They want to be like me. When she was 4 years old, Amelia ran one race, the Scream Scram, around Halloween. Dressed as a butterfly, she ran the 100 meters as fast as she could, her antennae bobbing along. Afterward, she couldn't stop talking about it—and the gift bag. She hung her race number on her door. The following Monday, Ms. Jenny, her preschool teacher, told me she'd never seen Amelia so proud as when she recounted the race. **My note - I absolutely cannot wait for something like this for Lola!**

The Jekyll/Hyde scenarios strike signature feelings of parenthood: guilt and pride. The former is easy to summon. Just think of that training adage, "Somewhere out there, somebody is working harder than you are," and you pretty much have parenting in the uberambitious 21st century in a sentence. Somewhere out there, a mom spends Saturday morning hovering over her first-grader doing addition tables, schlepping her kid to tae kwon do lessons, organizing a playdate for five kids at her house, or patiently making blueberry muffins with him and not losing it when the new bag of flour spills all over the floor.

Somewhere out there, a mom is not running. That mom is not me. I typically don't feel like I should be reading Frog and Toad All Year for the fifth time in two days instead of doing a tempo run. But I'm not immune to maternal guilt. As relief fills my body when I run down the block, out of my kids' formidable vocal ranges, I do wonder: Will their early memories of me be dominated by an image of my back, heading out the door, as they scream bloody murder? It's a possibility. Memories are so random. I remember things vividly from my childhood—things that have shaped the person I am, I believe—that my two sisters can't even recall, and vice versa. There's no guarantee which of my actions will stick to their souls and which will bounce off. **My Note: Well, until I reach the point of real training, I don't think this will be a problem.**

Then Amelia busts out a race like the Scream Scram, and guilt is replaced by a ridiculous amount of pride. Rosy cheeked, she held my hand, swinging it as we walked to the car. I'd trade mastering silent "e" any day for a moment like that.
Maternal guilt seems to be inversely proportionate to the child's age. The younger the kid is, the guiltier you feel for leaving him. When you walk out the door, unsure if your wailing 2-month-old will take a bottle of freshly pumped milk, your heart weighs heavy. When you walk out the door, certain your 6- and 3-year-olds will stop their dramatics in approximately 15 seconds, your heart kind of laughs. And when you walk out the door, leaving behind a moody, monosyllabic 13-year-old who is driving you crazy, I'm guessing your heart wonders if it's fit enough to run for three hours instead of one.

I also think guilt subsides when you accept that the time you spend alone running—time spent strengthening your spirit, confidence, and spunk—is far more valuable than simple face time. Plus, running is a practical thing to do for a mother who is interested in keeping an even-keeled house. The miles defuse frustrations, create mental order, instill calmness, and reignite flames barely flickering. Delicious memories of my kids and husband often come to me during a run, and they help me remember why I am where I am in life.

My mom wasn't a runner, but she did have her own outlet: horses. During my childhood, we boarded up to five horses in our battered red barn. She stacked their hay, cleaned their tack, and chopped out their water buckets when the Minnesota winters turned them to ice. At various points in her life, she coowned The Horse Habit, an equipment store; ran multiday horse shows; and, when my parents divorced, got a full-time office job at the local track. I don't think I ever screamed, "Don't go!" when she went off to ride, but I never enjoyed throwing my leg over a thousand-pound beast. But with her love of horses, my mom demonstrated how to be passionate about something, how to delicately weave an activity into your life so that it marks you but doesn't define you. She showed me you can be a mother, have another job, and still carve out time for yourself.

As every parent learns, "force" is not a verb that works well with kids. Still, I'm going to, um, strongly encourage them to find their own version of running, something that challenges and calms them, makes them feel alive and proud, and surrounds them with lifelong friends.

When this strategy inevitably fails, I'll turn to the other two signature emotions of parenthood: hope and faith. I'll hope they stumble into their version of running, as I did into mine. In the meantime, I'll have faith in the all-too-accurate message from a magnet my mom surreptitiously stuck on my fridge: "Sooner or later, every daughter becomes her mother."

I just really love the message in that snippet. It makes me feel better about having something that is mine, and that enables me to fall into a moment of clarity, serenity and peace.

Max recently told me that he would be starting some part time work on Saturday mornings, which lead well into the afternoon. We don't necessarily need the money. I was upset. Saturdays are race days. Participating in races motivates me to continue running. I told him that he could work, but allow me at least one weekend a month for me to run a race. It's days like that when I NEED to run, when I need to go out and have those 45 minutes to myself. And it's articles like these that remind me to never give up.

Boooring (post)

Well, boring for you all to read. A little break in my work day, thus exciting for me! In the few minutes I have before getting back to work I am going to say that I will never again bitch about NOT being busy at work. I knew what I was getting into when I took this job, that in the new year things would pick up and we would be extremely busy. Well, it's for sure the new year and definitely busy! I do love it. I love being busy. I love feeling like I'm getting things accomplished. I love the fact that everybody comes to me for anything they need. I've quickly become the GSD'er. (That means...get shit done'er). I've also become the go-to for restaurant recommendations in town! Which is pretty awesome. Everyone LOVES the places I send them to dine and impress. Pretty much everyone here is not from Houston. Well, all of the important people at least. Harhar. These foreigners like to party. Now, just to get them to take me one evening for an all-expenses paid dinner at Masraff's or Mo's - A Place for Steak. One day, one day.

Oh, and I'm definitely a freaking whiz on International travel. I never knew so many airlines existed!!

The email is a buzzin' now. Back to the grind!

Words

I love reading! The other night after finishing a chapter in the book I'm currently reading, I set it down and exclaimed, "I love reading!" to Max. He promptly told me that I just had a "Ralph" moment. But, I do! I really do. I wish I had more time in the day so I could read more. I read while I'm sitting in traffic, eating lunch, and any other free second I get - I read. I'm currently reading a book entitled, "Amy and Isabelle". It's a story about a mother and daughter, and that is why I chose this particular story. It's won a few awards and the author has a few other books that I am looking forward to starting. This book tells the story of a single mother and her teenage daughter in a small-town in New England. The daughter, seemingly innocent and all-american begins an affair with her high school math teacher. I'm only halfway through, but I really like it. It's just amazing to me how well this author captures the relationship and all of the tension between mother and daughter. At times, I felt like I was reading my diary from my teenage years. It's also amazing that I now identify more with the mother and her reasons behind the damaged relationship. I totally get the daughter's situation. But, I guess this whole motherhood thing...I'm totally siding with the mom (Isabelle) in the story. I am angry at the teacher in this book for taking advantage of the daughter (Amy).This story just kind of speaks to me, and I like that.

I also just finished The Great Gatsby and My Sister's Keeper. The Great Gatsby was a pretty good and easy read. I wanted to revisit this book. Of course, it was required reading in High School and I honestly did not remember anything about it, so I wanted to re-read. It was good. I can definitely see the reasons it is considered a 'classic'. I've actually listed the movie version on my netflix queue. I think this is my new hobby. Reading a book and then watching the movie. It's quite fun! Although the books are always so much better. Which brings me to the next book, My Sister's Keeper. Good lord! I could barely finish this book. Not that it was bad, but because it was so freaking sad. It took me a while to finish, because I seriously had to stop multiple times to gather myself. That's just something that no mother wants to ever think about; not even mothers...anyone wants to think about, ever. All I kept picturing was Lola and what would we do if, God forbid, anything ever happened to her. Geez. Overall, it was a great read and I really enjoyed the story, for the most part. I'm glad I read it. And I should be receiving the movie in the next few weeks!

On the queue for this weekend? Atonement. Loved the book. Excited about the movie. Although sometimes it pains me to have to look at Keira Knightley and her puckered lips for any extended length of time. I guess I'll just have to deal. James McAvoy should make up for it, methinks.

Disconnected

I don't know what it is lately, but I feel extremely disconnected from everything and everybody. I know we all feel like this sometimes, but it seems like something I haven't been able to kick. Maybe it's something that comes along with being a mom. Everything I do revolves around that little girl and I wouldn't change it for the world, but there are times that I feel so damn lonely. I hate feeling that way, too. I miss having a best friend. I suppose that's what happens the older we get. Or not. I don't know what it is...I guess I'm just being a debbie downer, feeling sorry for myself. I feel old and disconnected from the world. I also feel like nobody likes me. Ha! Most days I feel like Max even hates me. But seriously, I just get a feeling that my personality drives people away, I think I can be pretty annoying. At least I have Lola. That really is a sad way of thinking. I'm usually very upbeat and happy and positive and all of those things. What the hell is wrong with me!? Maybe I'm just PMS'ing...or maybe I'm just depressed. Who knows! All I know is that I hope it subsides soon and I get back to feeling better. I figure if I write it down, it will help me move forward.

Along with feeling disconnected, I feel extremely unfulfilled. Unfulfilled in my job/career. I've been lightly perusing job sites and sending out my resume to those jobs that I feel I may be interested in. I'm very good at what I do and I pride myself in knowing that I am really very good at my job. The thing is, who wants to get coffee for someone else 3 days out of the week? I mean, there's more to my job than that but those days when I am asked to do menial bullshit really get to me. I didn't get a fracking college degree to be your coffee maker. Seriously. I just hate that the door to other opportunities seems to be permanently locked. I don't want to be someone's assistant for the rest of my career, but who is going to give me a chance to do something else, say in HR or Travel or Coordination or Management? I'm hoping something else comes from this position, but it's looking bleak these days. I will continue to lurk the job boards and continue to send out my applications and resume to other opportunities that seem to have the possibility of advancement. I feel stuck and it blows.

Another area where I feel stuck? My physical state. I can't seem to get ahead and to shed any weight. I know our metabolism slows down at 30, but geez! Mine has all but disappeared. I still run 3-4 times a week, but I haven't been to the gym in some time. I eat crap and I can't seem to raise myself from eating like shit. I do good most days and I still feel like I eat better than most people, but there are days when I just want to eat candy and chips all day! I rarely do it, and when I do - binge - I feel extremely horrible about myself. I am hoping that once we get into the new house, I will feel better overall and this will lead to me eating better and getting more exercise. I think probably 95% of the reason I eat like crap right now is because our kitchen is a horrible little place. It's old, it's dirty, it's small and I really try not to be in there for any extended amount of time. Thus, leading me to not wanting to cook. So, here's to the hope that my new kitchen, my new awesome kitchen, will lead me to cook more and retain a healthier diet.

And last but not least, my social life. It's not that I miss going out once every few days for drinks/dinner/fun, but it's more that I miss the friendships that I had when I was able to go out as I pleased. I don't even know if that makes sense. I guess I just feel like my friendships have suffered, which is totally understandable. Once you're out of the loop, and not able to partake in certain events that everyone else is, it's just gonna happen. It just makes me sad sometimes. Not that there's much I can do about it, except to try my best to try to nourish those friendships I have.

With all of that being said, what happens now? One - stop being a debbie downer. Two - work on building friendships and trying new things. Three - continue the job search, something is bound to come up that I am qualified for, interested in, and LOVE. Until then, I'm going to wallow in my own filth for the remainder of the day.

Delays

Well, our closing date was supposed to be this week, but we've hit some delays and we don't know yet when our new closing date will be. Last week, the mortgage company let us know that due to a 5.5 year old collection account that is listed as "in dispute" by consumer, we were denied. Long story short...Back in August 2009, I sent in a dispute letter to this collection agency for them to verify and validate the information they were reporting. They had a few incorrect line items and were reporting incorrectly, so as a consumer, and having the full legal right to do so, I asked for verification and validation of this account. By law, these collection agencies must notate on the tradline that the consumer has disputed this information. If they are unable to provide documentation or proof that the alleged debt is owed, then they are required to remove or at least start reporting the accurate information. Well apparently, since all of this madness went down with the recession and all of the foreclosures and pretty much people who got loans they knew they couldn't afford, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae implemented some new guidelines to adhere by. They don't want the Underwriters to see that any account is in dispute. Regardless of the reason. It's pretty ridiculous and a lot of people are pissed off about it. Including me! Anyways, the underwriter asked me to try to get a written verification that this account is no longer in dispute. I, of course, called the collection agency straight away and told them, with great displeasure, that I no longer dispute the account and that they need to remove the notation from my credit reports. Well, they did that, because they have to. What they don't HAVE to do is send me anything in writing. I mean, why would they? Why would they want to help out someone who is never going to pay them? So, they refused to send me anything in writing, I let the Underwriter know, and they can't process the loan without the document. So stupid. The account is NOT in dispute, but they still won't do it.

Next step is to send our information to an affiliate lender through Pulte to see if they will approve and process the loan. My sales rep assured me that she was about 90% confident that they would do it. IF they are unable to do anything, only then can we go with the original plan, with Ryan. This time all of the incentives will be matched and carried over to Ryan because Pulte was unable to do anything for us.

So, we're once again waiting to hear something. This part really sucks and is really stressful for us. I hope the process is quicker this time and we hear something soon. Until then, our fingers are crossed and we are hoping that we have luck with this affiliate lender. Poooooo!!!!

I must admit...

Yesterday, we went to Max's dads house for some pawpaw time for Lola. They happened to be watching Twilight. I've been very, very skeptical about this whole craziness...just never understood all of the attention. Well, we watched about 30-45 minutes of the movie and I can now say that I might just understand the hype now. Very campy. Very cultish. Kinda goofy. Still not gonna read the books or anything, but I may watch the movie when it comes on TNT or something. And I finally saw what all the hoopla about R-Patz is, as well. Only when he was super vampir-ey, though. Still no Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise circa 'Interview' days, but nonetheless, I get it. And, does Kristen Stewart annoy anyone else? Girl always looks stoned! And I guess it's just the Bella character, but why so serious? Geez. Get a sense of humor, Debbie! Thing about it is, it just seems like she's totally that same personality in real life.


Wow, I really just wrote a blog about Twilight.

Making this House a Home

Now the waiting...

It's official, we've found a house that we love, that we are ready to grow old in, that we will watch Lola grow up in. It's a lovely house in a lovely neighborhood and we are super duper excited to be able to do this together. Now the hard part - waiting. Waiting for final loan approval, for closing negotiations and final walk throughs and such. I just wish we could do this now! We are seriously ecstatic that we found this home and we don't want to lose it if something falls through. That's the only iffy part right now. Fingers are crossed that everything is processed and no weirdness happens.

We're also going to be needing new furniture, which is awesome yet scary at the same time. Because, well, where are we going to come up with the money for a whole new living room set?? I guess we'll just have to accumulate slowly.

Gosh, now I will get to decorate and have a "theme" of some sort. Maybe I'll get better at it as time goes on. Cause right now, honey...I'm all over the place.

Kemah Run

This past Saturday, my mom and I ran a 10K in Kemah, The Galloway Gallop. Well, my official time was 1:12:47. That sucks! That is 5 minutes slower than the 10K I ran in October. I blame it on my lack of "training" in the weeks leading up to the race, and also my impending cycle, which I started the very next day. So, that kind of lit a fire under my arse and in order to please myself, I went out to Memorial the next day to start the work. There is another race at the end of the month - The Rodeo Run - that I am going to sign up for. I really want to try to improve my 5K time and get that under or at least, AT 30 minutes. On Sunday, I made myself run the entire 3.10 miles at Memorial and actually tried to do some speed work. I made it around in 32 minutes. I would love to shave off those last 2 minutes. So I think I will sign up for the 5K instead of the 10K this time. Maybe this will allow me to better my 10K time in the next race. So, Monique, we get to run a 5K on the 27th! It'll be a breeze compared to the half-marathon!

Newish

I need a new 'do. I'm thinking bangs. Figure if I hate, then I'll just pin them back until they grow. I think I'll cut first and then do something about the color a little later. Here are some styles I'm diggin'.



I like the length of this, and the side sweep of the bangs. And the color ain't bad, either.



I also like the bangage here.



This is what I usually end up going with, no bangs. I like the length here, though.



I'm even considering something drastic like so. I've NEVER had bangs and I think this might look alright on my head. But I'm kinda scared. But I kinda just want to do it! Scared it may make me look a little older, too.

Last one - and this is probably, in all likelihood the one I will go with. I think it's time:

It's Official!

Well, like 95% official, at least. Last night I got word back that Max and I have been pre-qualified for a new mortgage loan! There is still the signing of the agreement and the underwriting, but hoping to take care of that by next week. We got approved for the amount that we both agreed on. Didn't want to take on too much, so we found a happy medium range. I am so very excited. I have wanted this for so long and it's finally happening. Ryan is putting me in touch with a realtor with whom he's worked many deals with and who he says is amazing. There is an Open House this weekend that I plan on going to, and that will be my official first house that I look at. My fingers are crossed that we can find something quick and easy. Especially before the end of April when the tax rebate expires. I think as long as we are both proactive in looking at houses and negotiating, we shouldn't have a problem. I'm admittedly sad that we will be further away from the city and most of our friends, but I think the suburbs is the best option for us at this point. I can admit that I've always known I'd move back out to the 'burbs, and I'm okay with that. The drive will be a little longer, and I will have to deal with traffic again, but I think it evens out. Lola will have a yard to play in, a sidewalk to run around on, a neighborhood to grow in...which are, after all, the most important things to me.

Now onto a major savings spree to add on as much as possible before closing! I guess my highlight touch-up and haircut will have to wait.

Wish me luck in this new endeavor! And, just to let you know, I've already begun our house warming gift registry.

Just kidding.

Maaaaaaaaaaaybe.

Update

I think we've come up with an answer to our sleep problems. Last night was business as usual and Lola refused her milk and although extremely tired, refused to sleep in her bed. We put her in our bed and she was asleep in 10 minutes. But, we tricked her. This time Max was able to pick her up and move her to her bed after she was asleep for about 2 hours. I actually got to get into bed without a little foot pushing into my ribs! We laughed about how mad she was going to be when she woke up and she was in her bed and not ours. Well, 2 am comes along and Lola is screaming, running down the dark hallway! Max got up and got her and put her into bed with us. She was angry, she was mean and she screamed for about 3 minutes after she got into her spot in between us. It was pretty funny. I got at least 4 hours of good sleep. She wasn't too bad last night, though. She slept on my butt, but I was still able to sleep decently until the alarm went off. So, our idea is just to continue to move her to her bed after she falls asleep and soon she should just stay in there without waking up - like the good ole days. Max and I had a good laugh this morning about mad she was! Pretty hilarious.

Oh, Lola...you bring such joy and laughter to us every day.

On another note, exercise. Remember that? Yea, I don't. I am running a 10K on Saturday and I haven't run since last Saturday - and only 4.5 miles at that. I plan on going today, but this weather is killing me. I remember around this time last year I was hitting up the gym almost every day. I was on a roll. Where is my motivation? I'm still fat, probably fatter than last year and I just can't seem to find that motivation or energy to get my fat ass out to Memorial or to the gym. The weekends are fine. I am up and at 'em. But, the weekdays are just killer. I don't know, maybe I need a new work schedule. Come in a little earlier, thus leave earlier and make it to Memorial before dark. Oh, yeah, but I have that thing...that adorable little monkey at home waiting for me every day. If she weren't such a spaz, I could start taking her in the stroller again, but I'm not going to have a repeat of the last time we did that. She was horrible. Max has begun offering to "let" me go after I get home, but that's like the only time with Lola before bed! If I can just make it home, get dinner ready, get the baby ready for bath & bedtime, get her to bed and still be motivated to go by 7:00, then I'm set. It's that whole making it until 7, though. It's just there are so many days when I can't even fathom a measly 3 miles. I have to force myself out these days. Maybe I'm just PMS'ing and next week will be better!

Here's to PMS. Loveya/hateya.